The Mind Illuminated archive

Exchanging Self and Others


Q&A: How does one exchange self and others?

Master Culadasa explains how to exchange self and others within the context of a relationship.

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Culadasa: For those of you that are in any kind of a close relationship someone that you're very regularly in contact with a very special way of practicing, loving kindness. Meditation is a one how Seeing, if you can, in your own mind exchange yourself or the other person, and all of the various kinds of interactions have starts out very simply by just trying to

imagine what it's like to VVM at first. And try to remember what you'd have learned about them or what you know about them to your relationship or that you can ask yourself the question. Okay. What, what would pay or she like right now, or what does he, or she feel right, like right now or what might be traveling to am or her right.

Just in terms of the present moment, and then when you are out of that

That place being you and being the other person.

We replaced yourself with the other person and that now you can come back into being in your own body and mind and say, okay, what would I as this other person like Tara right now, it's really a wonderful practice to do. And if you do that in all kinds of real simple situations, no. Just casual, ordinary things without a lot of emotion or intensity, then you might find that you'll be able to find and are starting to experience a little friction with this other person.

So when those kinds of situations arise and then as you can remember, ah, okay, let me exchange myself for this person in this circumstance. Okay. Produce a pretty remarkable change. So it's a very powerful way to practice loving climates, exchanging yourself using, see we have all selfishness, right? We know what we want.

We know what we'd like. So rather than just put it aside as a bad thing, or let it go to waste, we can use it to help us and prove the way that we interact with other people by using our natural. Selfishness to see if we can become the other person, figure out what they need, what they want and what we'll do for that dividend.

Try this experiment with it. See what happens.


Automated transcription

For those of you that are in any kind of a close relationship someone that you're very regularly in contact with a very special way of practicing loving kindness meditation and individuals. One seeing if you can in your own mind exchange yourself or the other person and all of various kinds of interactions. They have starts out very simply by just trying to imagine what it like to be the other person and try to remember what you'd have learned about or let me know about them you're relationship so that.

You can sort ask her your yourself question. Well Okay. What what would he or or she like right now? Or what does he or is she feel. Right. Like right down or but might? Be troubling to him or her right now. Just in terms of the present moment, you know? And And then when you sort of... Our hard. Out of that That place of being you and kind of being me a person? Then we replace yourself with the other person. And then now you can come back into being in your own body in mine. And say, okay. What would why is this said the person like that happened right now.

So really yeah. Wonderful practice to do. Yeah if you if you do that in all kinds of real simple situations, you know, like just casual ordinary things without a lot of emotion or intensity. Then you might find that you'll be able to find starting to experience a little friction with other person. So one of those kinds of situations arise, and then if she remember. okay. Let me change myself for this person in this circumstance. Mh. Okay. Okay. Produce a pretty remarkable change in. So it's a very powerful we practice loving climates exchanging yourself.

Using c have all selfish. Right? We know what we want. We know what it we'd like. So rather than just put aside as a bad thing. Or let it go to waste, we can use it to help us improve the way that we interact with other people by using our natural Dna innate selfish to see if we can become the other person to figure out what they need what they want, what do for that. Give try. This experiment of it.

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