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TCMC 21 July 2011 (Part 2)


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but last week, I suggested that we focus on certain area for the next model. That topic area being three very fundamental closely entry related t of the buddha. The first is. That there is self. Yeah. The systems cutting on off. See. Is it his this staying on now? Okay. And I just adjusted it so that I here. Just Just went off here. Yeah. It's and my case too. Yeah. You can't cover the transmitter. It's not as good in your lap and see what have. That's not covered. I think. Not that. Oh this. Great See go ahead save.

Thanks, Tim. You see the light from here. Okay. Anyway, the three things or i've that There is no self in the sense that we came here as. There is no cell other than the life aggregates. And then there is dependent that twelve links or dependent origin which describe how this loser itself keeps coming into being open over again. And so that's just to define a general area. So any thoughts, any questions, anything that you got. Last week, when we started talking about this, a question that emerged that I think we continue is...

Why why should we concern ourselves with examining reality, you know, to see whether things really are the way the opportunity to or not? Good question. Mh? Jeff lying to your psychiatrist?? Just like lying geo saying right? Infusion. So what are you what's on your brain? What are your thoughts? This is hopefully related. It's a question I didn't talk i mean a couple of times the last few hundred patients. Which is kinda related to of no self and and proven and we had the three characteristics that meeting.

Just wondering as I'm trying to stay on the objects, i we come back from my wondering. My question was how much if at all? Do I need to try and see those three marks versus just trying to see the object is as I can. Well, in actually your notification, the first thing to do is to try to see the object fairly care. And that will lead you over time to to experiences which make those remarks extremely clear. So in terms of how how to practice with regards to the tree is to understand them as clearly as possible, and to see if you can verify the understanding had every opportunity your in your day life, you know?

The the better you understand it and an already you can see that, well, yes, this makes sense. This is this is true. Really is. Then that leads you that that leads you directly towards the the kinds of insight that you're looking for. In terms of the meditation practice meditation, if we meditate properly, we acquire certain skills and abilities which allow us to experience things in a way, therefore understand things and what that we do we're not on way to. And so I'll just give you one example in terms of the experience of imp in meditation.

If you observe the meditation object, very closely very consistently for a long period of time. And Spain most especially if the meditation object is to correct. Because of course the graph not instance is at same. It's a series of sensations. Constantly changing sensations and not even to in sequence are the same. So you're watching here process of rising and passing the away of individual experiential moments. And the person additionally, that's not what you're fine. What you find is say you're close your eyes and put your attention on your nose and you're you're observing the sensations of air as it moves into your nose and then hair as the out of your nose.

But those are just those are perceptions, their concepts, they're ideas. The longer you watch put more you start to actually see the sensations of themselves rather than, you know, rather than all of these concepts, really normally invasive. When the observation of the graph becomes. Non conceptual hand, and europe's observing just the sensations arising. Sing. There's a certain point where your your observation is very fine. And you realize that even the things that that you have been experiencing before, like, the feeling of of impact of the air pressure movement of warmth that pool us.

These... That even those are a kind of conceptual formation of line. And you see them arising and passing away. The closer you look, the more everything recognizable and familiar in there. Dissolves. I tell you're just having us... We... More or less roll off experience. And what that happens, you are experiencing improvements. And mostly the most likely when that happens your mind not gonna like it, So it's kinda immediately back away from this meaningless continual changing process did get a big enough perspective where put the pieces together and make our identifiable sensations out of radio or make identifiable perceptions.

Like, those and air and standing and out and things like that out of it. When that happens, you can go you can go deep again and and see the fine structure experience, and you could feel how the line keeps running of your back and put it all together and making them something to make sense. What you're having is an experience of how imp, and that's being followed by experience anti exempt me meaning that your body is constructing what you're ordinarily experiencing. So in your meditation, as a result of the refinement and your the stability of intention and and the your power of your conscious are awareness.

You've had a direct experience of both the constant flux which underlies reality. There are no things and you've had an experience of hampton emptiness, which is that the appearance of things is something that appeared entirely by the line. And so it's... Each time you have that kind of experience. It has a very found effect on on your your deep intuitive way of understanding the world. So go the insights, that that you're looking for. So meditation leads to those kinds of insights. But you can prepare to delay, to do degree that you understand and the ideas you that...

Well, everything is constantly changing that doesn't just mean that things exist for a short while then they cease to exist but actually, there's nothing but process. And that's what that's the meaning of your imp. Is you come to understand but that's the meaning. Oh, yes. That's what the buddha was pointing to. There is there's nothing to be permanent even for an instant. All there is who's the constant changing. And our mind grasp to this continuous process of change and makes things out of it.

How that's the meeting of that. So then you go out in the world and you realize that what things seem happening to. You have experiences and and, you know, you realize you you've seen things one way and other people seen them totally different that and you said, well, this is really true. You know, it's... I I'm living in a world was created by my wife. So That's how the that's how you prepare the mind to be able to have these more direct experience. But they they is huge value in these direct experiences because, you know, the way you normally see things is formed at an intuitive well.

It just it comp as there media. You look out here and and do you see people and tile floors and lights and stuff like that? And seems so so real. And what happens is that it it is that intuitive perception of things as being a particular way that you've learned to save that past that needs to change. And so every time you have and experience in meditation and or minutes. Every time, you can look at what's going on around you. The we're all and say wow. You know, this... It's really true. They're this is all permanent.

It's really true that this is empty whenever have those those kinds of thoughts and are you seeing things whenever you hold that and unconscious says, that that understanding that information. Filters down into that unconscious part of your mind that generates your intuitive of the perception. And it weakens its Yes. Hold on things being in a particular but leads to you being able to eventually get, those thank you. Yes. Could you apply what you just said this whole idea of things being other than what they appear and every everything is in process.

So you're gonna go sit as we're sitting here our fingernails and our toenails are growing. I mean, every thing is, could you apply this to our encounters with say people who are difficult who we perceive. Let's go because we all have this experience. Yeah. Well, that... That's one of the most valuable things that you can apply this understanding too. When on something happening you don't like it's nice stream here to let permanent. When you need somebody, you don't like. It's nice to remember that the person that here perceiving has not nice, really only exists in your mind.

There is a person, but you're not perceiving that person as they really are. You're receiving them i'm a particular perspective. And so when do you apply these things to light then? Can change it, it it allows you to be far more understanding well patient, compassion, hash? It. Allows you to have much more into than agree that you to the degree that you begin to understand and imp more more clearly. You're going to have these experience out more less attachment rising to. And less desire and less version.

Because deep down the part of your the the part of your psyche you which the attachment and the desire version originate, is starting to understand that, oh, wow. There's nothing there to attach to to desire something so is is was only going to cause something. So as that as that deep understanding develops, what you subjective experienced is not being... So so driven by these compulsions of a desire integration. That's why he experience. Yeah. Well, I just wanna to share an experience and then see if that it relates to you didn't so permanent when I changed and I, and I that, and the other people who were talking and I was sort of just being here sitting.

And Yeah. Was kind of a general feeling which is covered. And so I just kind of opened up to what that was comfort from. And then there was a there's anxiety. Just a little fear. Or know what all i oh and and there were some judgments via of Christmas doing impacts. You know, should I be sitting like this? And so you know, I sort of opened up to that the stopped and dealing. And there was a tremendous for week. Just to see all all those things those things. And then they kinda drifted away. Occasionally knows something come back that's.

But it seems like just, like, instead of extending on the algebra object. Get in away. No know. I was gonna focus on my breath. Down here. It was, like very. So is got related to. That experience of seeing your own mental states and emotions arising and no longer being That's that's fact. All of these things are related, but that's primarily in effect of just mindfulness for us. With you, when you observe what's really going on on, in your mind, non judgment. Then The the way the then the emotional reactions and the and the judgments, that are coming for your mind.

You you're observing them just seeing them as they are. And you they they lose the meaning and importance that they seem to have before. Because you're seeing them in a more real way. So what's similar about what you described in what I was talking to About is that We experienced these changes. Our life gets better, we're happier we're less reactive less driven by compulsions of different kinds especially to desire an inversion, what's the test. We experience those changes. And the way that these changes kind about is that what's being changed is a way of experiencing a life of reacting for life.

That is driven by unconscious processes. It's an accumulation of all of our past experiences. So somehow other if your past experiences cause you to feel uncomfortable in a particular kind of situation. Then that uncomfortable for the, causes you to have certain kind of thoughts and then that leads to other emotions. And then maybe you speak in a particular act. This whole complex I mean, this is this is what we do all the time. But where is that coming from? I you didn't decide to have feeling in.

Those thoughts They they seem to just here and then the emotions that they trigger flowed from them, but you didn't. You didn't choose them. You didn't intend that. They just have... This is all coming from but part of your mind that's not conscious. They are appearing. What's wonderful is that when you pay attention and are mindful of what's going on, doesn't Those unconscious processes that are really running the show are getting new information. So some part of your mind is making you feel uncomfortable in this situation.

And you observed the whole situation mindful and the information is going down to that that part your mind is, you know, there's no reason to feel way. And so that part mind backs up. And you stop feeling a way it stops feeling so strong moving that way. The more often you repeat that, then the more the greater the changes than you've made if they be i conscious mine. Are. And and the less likely these things already even happen in the future. So on the one hand, We go through the world with this burden of conditioning that he acquired throughout the day of our birth.

That makes us added do the kind of personality put that in quotes personality lately we have. All these characteristics ways that behavior these likes and dislikes and reactions and everything else. And that's all the result of this process that I just talked about. Mindful awareness can change that. But we come answer the world, pre predisposed to same things as simplistic way to be attached to ourselves as a real and self existent being to believe our perceptions that the world really is the way we perceive it to be.

That's an even more fundamental kind of conditioning. We all came into the world with with our our our minds just naturally took everything to be that way. And it is just has subject to change by exactly the same kind of thing, would you have when in a state of mindful awareness you observe the way things really are. That new information alters those very deep seated perceptions. You always... We react on the old conditioning. Then you give y'all conditioning human his validity And you're being forcing it all the time you're doing attorney.

That's right. Phoenix it. And there's no span for the new information canadian in the productions were not station. Yes. You're absolutely right. You've got it. And that used the problem With when when we experience the same old reaction to the situation. Nothing new. No information gets in there. We we stick the same thoughts. you know, we see things in the same way. And So no no that information gets in there. It's when you bring mindful awareness to the process that you start to seeing things the way they really hard.

If you're prone to say getting irritated making hungary or remarks. What you tend to do is is that process happens. Every time it happens it just kind of cuts the groove in mind. It causes that a little bit deeper. And then it causes problems for you. But you don't look objectively at what you did. Of what the cause really was what you did and the consequences of it. We don't look at that. What we tend to do is If there's... If un desire consequences is are something that rationally said. To immediately either rationalize it?

Or turn away from and have avoid there because we don't we don't want to see that we're responsible for it. And so nothing will ever change as long as we do that. You know the the the basic instruction meditation is often go using the breath as an object. Use the breath that's an object. And then meditation teachers often say the object without necessarily meaning the. And I know that for one thing there's this sound that you here here, anyway, and I know other people have for it too and use that as a meditation object.

What are some other meditation objects that people move? There there are awful lot of different meditation objects. And to a certain degree it depends on the kind of meditation you're doing. I mean, you're doing a working conduct meditation in here, the specific kind of object, that series of people that are particularly kind relationship to. And the real object is is the wish for their well being that that you generate. But in terms of developing concentration and mindfulness, anything that you can use as an anchor for your attention can be an all object.

Some things are making a lot better objects. No. So you can you can use the sound in your ear. If if in my first of your meditation, you'd have a a light arises, can use that as a meditation object, some people do. You can deliberately visualize an object. You can use of Nazareth that is repeated internally as an object. You can use their casinos, which is basically you make a disk that is colored over a district earth or or a old of water new status not You can use a style or handle find. With some.

The... Only All of meditation object is for concentration and mindfulness practice is something to anchor your attention on. But those objects you, you know, they they can be discern as following into categories. But by the, there's thirty two traditional objects, which I I want go right now. But there are objects but you have to make some kind of mental effort to generate their heating amount dna example both that. And then there are objects that You are completely active they pass observe like the graph.

Or like. A candle plan for stone. K so that's one division is between those that the mind has to generate and those that they're naturally and you can maintain a passive relationship with. The other important categorization those objects are those that are changing and those that are changing. And so a stone would be an changing object. Is that true? Well, it it's it's not true that the stone is changing, but it is true there as far as your experience. Out it has meditation object, it's gonna to look the same.

You know, if you work with a login enough you will begin to realize that there is change. Even if the stone itself changes slowly, your perception of the changes going something. The nice thing about the breath is that it can federal functions that both of the fixed object and changing. His graph consists of constant series of changing. And one breath is different from another, you know, apparently We you breathe that a lot breath. And you know you agree that how long. I'm sure graph know you need check that.

So it's a changing object both moment by nolan and one breath to the next. But it also a serve as a fixed optic object because the breath repeats itself. And a large percentage of what you experience what I'm observing the throughout is repeating every time. And And if you you know, if you don't observe the graph, yeah if it's not there, you're dead. Right? Well, i I think you're not breathing. You're yeah. Yeah But but it conserve is a fixed logic object because it repeats itself. So you can use the the breath to do certain cases that that you need a fixed object for it.

But. Yeah. That's a lot different. There's a lot of different kinds meditation practice and for those who require some kind a relatively stable object, if if you use the white view. What what was really what were you wondering about? On may you ask? Because My introduction to observing the breath came from yogic tradition rather Known from Buddhism. And when I started out and greeted him I was told him, just watch your breath. Okay. Just watch your breath. And so There are various ways to do that.

We you count, which I learned in Zag, you know, couch tan go back, and come him, kinda on get me coming again. And when you noticed that you're up to twenty or something, we realized you've lost that continuity So that's a real good, you know, clear indication that the breath is of... But lately, So people can call it tinnitus, but to me, it's not tinnitus. I don't care what they call it. But there's a a constant kind of like sound and when I sit in medication, it's like my companion. It since there with me, and it was for some reason, much easier for me to have that as the object rather than the breath.

I don't know why but it's turned out that way. And and I guess, I'm wondering When it would be appropriate and for whom it's appropriate to do what as an object and who knows and You just try? Well, there's a certain advantage to experimenting with different things that trying different things. This especially we need have a fair good of meditation experience and you know what you're doing... I know the sound made and it it develops and and probably most people at some point. It is a it is a suitable object for practicing stay stability of attention.

And now first once you've stabilized your attention, you do, do you wanna go sample pointed or do want to cultivate some aspect awareness. So you could do either one. Once... It's a great object for for fixing your attention, stabilizing your attention. Once you've stabilized your attention, you can decide where to go from then. But especially for something like you, yes try out different object, especially you know, if you know where you wanna go in your practice, see how a different object might work better or or not as well.

That's what usually. Now there is a a an advantage and settling a lung object and using it consistently. it doesn't have to be one hundred percent at the time. But he kept being your main object that you mostly use. And that's because you develop so much familiarity. Okay. And that's important. Yes yeah. Did you say something about the Saturday where shipped couple weeks ago? When they were broke out of the roof? That's a object objection. As... You know, as as something that is just recognized for what it is.

It's not no it's not fixated on. It's just locking out the door. K. So, yeah. What what test talking about is doing summer cares here. And I guess some of the people in the Saturday mornings said became really prepared because of was noise of somebody walking out in groups, but indirect their taste. And then you know, It it reveals that they didn't quite really understand what they were supposed to be doing in meditation. Because Whenever day some background disturbance such things like that. You can take that and another notification object.

You don't, you know, the validation of is just something to to anchor your attention to. And if something else comes along, it keeps taking you away from it well then. Sample solution, you just everything thing that's taking your away from it as your notation logic object. You do everything. You do that with strong emotions account. So... But If you if you are really named mindful of what's happening, you're sitting there and there's an and you all things to need one right, and they're knocked that way.

So you start making a judgment about. Do you start criticize and you start thinking some... What's matter these deals so they know somebody should do this. And you're not meditating you it's just... You you you you just began with wanting things to be one way eight. There was different than the way they are. Which is that's that's the essence of crazy. Right? And then you blindly and oblivious without realizing that that's what who doing. You just got carried away by for and attachment to your idea the way things should be.

So, yeah. We it... You know, if if somebody starts a Jack hammer on sidewalk got trying benefit. I you you could, of course choose a different time to meditate. But first, First, try meditating on the sound of the jack map. And even more importantly practice mindfulness of how your blind is reacting to desk. That's That's the really important part. That it getting past the disturbance so the you say, medicaid yeah. At least had even though I'm meditating on a jack. I still have another. I that's good.

But still haven't got the most partners name, which is watching your mind. Seeing how you're going react. Because when you're meditating, the meditation objects is never the breath or anything else. The real meditation object is always your mind. Yeah. When that was first learning to meditate. My first instructor said that life being constantly busy being being on changing it's it's for It's fine true. There's there's going to be the police sirens and the dog barking, and there's, you know, it's gonna be your whole life look for it.

And he said, Just go back to your meditation object and let the disturbance rise through you as though it were a bubble carbonate and water glass. And it just... Oh, yeah. There goes. And you're still following the object. You're allowed to be aware of. Everything that you have taught about the distinctions between awareness and and attention if it applies right there with... Oh, yeah doug. And it just... You just watch it float by. It doesn't have to touch you to pass through to you. Right. And you're actually very.

To is a certain problem. Noise or something going on. Around. But it's actually very helpful for medication. Did do you were go into a sound room do meditation It just gives you lot. Correct. Yeah. Got it in. In the process you use the were judging that you use the word judging. And that seems to be along the lines of, you know, doing along the lines of fill your mind with cement. Yeah. Well, and... Yeah. They and it is. I know on their one hand instead of being open to about ears via Yeah. You children line with the samantha, what what he thinks feed sent.

Because they at will be. Did not. You are understand. They're off to be screen. Yeah. Can you feel a version that is right hicks? Yep. Knowing that your feeling version is being present. Getting lost in the version and all of hot presses come right out of that? Was that's what you don't wanna do. Yes. You we see there, like, Fractions like them. And that i did by putting it in the car door. And everybody expected me clinic. Because I did it. Yeah and screen all this kind stuff. But I didn't I was just as calm as I could be.

And I mentioned my first got my keys out and unlocked the. I didn't say a chief customer. But that's because we were defective here. Was stealing with that... I didn't feel to pain. I was just calling them to be like maybe I stepped out of myself. And just looked at it. My mom's got more upset than I did. Mh. And I didn't start feeling the pain until i back to the hospital when I started wiggling it. I expect feeling. But I realized by had the really know the same i that we now the police are raining.

And pricing meditation, but I wouldn't have reacted that way. And so I look at that in a good thing. And and and think that it's really... They're moving in the right direction. So I enjoy a task for to. And you don't realize how much you missed with them and you can't But I had all the things that I did helped me get at the moments And I also I had other little experiences like that to where I don't get as excited as I used to or I just take it in that okay. Missus what's have a deal with it. And I know myself my had been doing all the reading and all the that the would have been more blown out of portion than it was.

And so I think that's very much. Yes. And so, as you mentioned it, you have you've gained both by reading and studying and the ideas and understanding that can't rather to be practical experience in the medicaid in both words together. And that's the way the changes kinda about. You just... You change internally. And you noticed he observed yourself that you're not the same person that you were before. Yes. I'm wondering if we are running from this initial discussion of imp by talking about education on x.

Like? I raised that just simply because I had the feeling like that I'm running sort of the thought or I thought it's not a solid so it's sort of a neat don't like that. With everything is... That I've doing bills around on is my personality, it's construct by. Yeah. So how do we track this? I'd like to talk more about how we actually deal with sort your underlying fear of being messy. Yep. That that's that's really where I would like our discussion to go because to focus too much, has has happens all the time on the fact that this is illusion That that's scary.

You know, to to to to lose your precious cell, but even replace it? And the thing that if something's illusion, then then there is some other way of understanding it that is less of innovation. More, or more accurate, more truthful flow. And that's that's really the important thing that we're getting out. So For example, there is no cell, but when the buddha described this. He said, he immediately made reference to what they're is. Which the five aggregates. So what he said is there's no self. I live in needs friday.

And so already, there's there's something more positive there. Okay. I'm not these trying aggregate. Well, or or... Sorry. I this... The self side believed in doesn't exist. They're only these five aggregate where i go with that, Or is that take it does it take me to horrible place? And it doesn't. It can be traumatic if your experience and out of meditation, is entirely one of discovering what is not the case. Then then accepting that self is illusion becomes very much like dying, but it's not.

If you if you make the leap when you handle that point and your in your progress and insight. If you make the lead to accepting about there is no self in the way you thought it. You don't die. It's just that simple. Instead, immediately afterward afterwards, you feel enormously liberated. And so There's a reason why you feel liberated, and we can talk about that. And if we spent more time talking about that, less just focusing on how we're wrong about the way we see thing. When you come to that point in here in your understanding and your progress moving be outside, it's not going to be so traumatic.

If you just practice in a dry inside practice, which causes you to confront imp and confront and suffering. And this is the extended side is knowing that that there is no cell. The things aren't the way that they appear be. But everything is unstable imp un changing. And that there's nothing to claim to clinging to anything causes separate. You experience what's described as the knowledge of suffering duplicate, which there is the knowledge out of terror and knowledge misery, and the knowledge i've discussed which is followed by a a state of deep resignation where just return back to the practice because that pretty good path.

Only gives you the negatives. It just... It it confronts you over and over again with the way things are. But you don't have to go that way. And and that's what it is. That's why I really like talk doctor this. I I realized that I've done the same thing over the last see talked a lot about no cell and not really enough about. What what is? Really yes. And there was a project I started a couple of years ago that I would like to rein ini you know, I... My fan name for was the sole creation project.

If you've got no. So if you are only these five aggregates, well, maybe you can make a pretty good or so one that will serve you very well. And and and that's really what we need to do. Basically, I didn't enlightened being here's a being who has removed the def us. And so they have no more sold than they did when they were at of night. But through removing the def of us, they have created themselves as the kind of being that that experience in a certain way behaved certain way and interact with the people in a certain.

Right. So that's the sole creation aspect aspects. Good. So I have perhaps quite a ne question but on topic. Okay. So a little bit earlier, you brushed on the idea of see feedback between our medi insights into selfless notes and then day day. Experience that we might have as a result of those insights come tripling down. And then also observations that we might make experience. And then you've just been talking about this dry kind this dry medi ne mitigation. Yeah. Exploration of of the cell. And your and your your celebration projects.

Which I was thinking it was forming a question earlier about cannot and so for me, in my meditation practice, sometimes I can through analysis or through look through a certain process, I can touch in with selfless kind cell or or a lesser... Of. So little bit loosening there a a little bit of space. Which I find quite for yeah. So you know sometimes in the past i've experience here. It's... So, you know, I also know about that. But but these days then it feels quite quite freeing so tough to loosen up a little bit.

So I I feel dissatisfied though with my the the the part of my practice which is then like kind of the integration of that into my daily experience where I'm interacting others and and a couple of experiences I've had. One is trying to like I had an instruction to try and identify how I see myself and the instruction was to to kind of use extreme situations because the eye that presents itself in a more obvious manner. So, you know, if this line like, if my tired is flat or if someone insults me, then when someone told me, I never have a chance because I just immediately gay.

In circumstances like this, I would like to have some instructional and some some tips or pointers on how catch that because I find it really difficult actually. Because as soon as I think, oh, I observe my eye to nothing. It's like It's like super sneaky. And then and then another thing I've I've observed, which may relate to your soul creation project is that I create myself according to a fear or craving or whatever it is according to who I'm speaking to. Or who I'm interacting, but that I'm creating myself.

For for that interaction. A lot of that because out of Fear. Mh. And so I'd like to hear people advice. Practicing with footsteps. Okay. The problem you described is with in your daily life things happen and you trying to shop reacting. It's it's the loss of... It's a loss of mine. Oh, yeah. Mindfulness is like, sooner of i'm all the christian, man. Even if it was there. It's redundant. And I you have to cultivate right. And a place to cultivate it. Is both on the cushion and the daily the right.

And if you understand what mindfulness he, I would... My way to define it is it's an optimal interaction between attention and awareness. And you practice it in meditation. But awareness. What I need by awareness is you pay attention to one thing but you're aware of a whole lot of those things at the same time. And what you are aware of provides their context for what you're paying attention to. And your reaction, the reactions that arise as a result of it? You see what I mean? No. Okay. Well, let back.

The problem when you lose mindfulness is your attention is very focused on something. What somebody said about you. And then about the anger that you feel in response to that. And you totally lose awareness of the larger situation. That's when you've lost mine. So if we assume that I don't have mindfulness all day. Yeah. That is the the third starting? Yeah. Well, what you need to do is to First of all, let me just explain. If you see that mindfulness means being more fully conscious and that better.

Consciousness takes the form simultaneously of attention and awareness of things other than what you're paying attention to. Okay. And that's I can out what you're aware of, that provides you with information about the context of what you're paying attention to. Where you're aware of? Be everything gets test context. And so what you're aware of, your awareness comes in two versions. You can it can be aware of everything else that's going on around you. While you're paying attention to one. But they're more important version of awareness is being aware of what's going on in your mind, why paying attention?

This not. So you need to cultivate both. You need to cultivate today not losing awareness when you focus your attention. So when you practice meditation, you focus closely on the details of to meditation object. You try to do that without losing awareness. And then you get a little bit of skill and being able to focus without losing awareness, then you start trying to shift the awareness from just being what's going on around you, what you feel in your body to hear your ears and so forth. To being aware of what's going on in your mind.

K. So this this is just skip. Developing. Intros who awareness is also a skill. But the problem you'd have data life. As this said as you focus on something, because it's important, because it's disturbing. All of your consciousness goes into the attention and awareness disappears, including the awareness silhouette what's going on. Alright. That's always problem. And it's always going be a problem. If all you do is develop the skill aspect. Then there's just not enough conscious power in you're wanting to go a lot.

Now. As soon as something comes up to fully your attention, you talk with lost awareness. Right? That's just... you know, there's only so much power consciousness and be try to deal it goes one place is not available to go somewhere else. The thing you have to do and really important part of mindfulness us is cultivating and increased power of consciousness. So they become literally more fully conscious. There's more consciousness to go around. And so when somebody says something when somebody gets himself to, you don't immediately all of your conscious contracts on what they said and then this emotional reaction from some deep unconscious program that's been repeated over and over and comes up.

Then you're aware about the anger and the feeling and things like that. What you want is to be able when that happens to to have the larger perspective, Oh, here's. But it did here. I am. I'm gonna do that thing. Oh, there it is happening again. I initially, if it's a really strong reaction, the reaction gonna still be going on. But if you succeeded and bringing mindfulness us to it, then there is conscious awareness of what you're doing while doing it. And that's not of course because you're gonna have more awareness by the way, context was gonna bring things in like, well, this is really a good friend of mine.

I really shouldn't be saying these things I'm saying. Boy? I'm sure didn't rent this. A little bit later. That's perfect would think. But you see, it's the mindful awareness while happening. There's gonna make you less likely to say those things future. Makes you less vulnerable marrow to being overcome in future. But you have to... You have to be a boy. You have to have a stronger mind and that comes from meditation practice. Make sure not it's stronger. But you also have to develop the skill. It is a simple skill keeping all of your your consciousness from being sucked to one particular thing in the moment?

That's the scale of that comes practice that comes over and over again. First of all, in meditation being able to focus on meditation knowledge object. Without there's any awareness and that us see what's happening in your bottom. Which by the way is going to be the most useful thing. In terms of not being not forgetting and how you mind wandering all other things. If you know what's going on your run? You right away note when something like that is happening here. You just bring it back. So it's also a meditation problem as well.

But but you practice doing it it and you get good at doing it. And down in your daily life, in in the not so intense situation. You practice stay mindful. You know, when you're walking from here there, you've been remain present. Yes. Maybe you're thinking about something that's gonna happen later. But you know you're thinking about something that's. You know that you're not really paying attention to where you are right now. You now know you're bringing that mindfulness forward into? Yeah. So that's a practice.

And. It's very it's very important to everybody in this room at what time ago you you're talking about how different difficult it is to be mindful and in daily life. So do you just choose, like, suddenly it occurs you, I could be practicing mindfulness right now. Yeah. Sense. Well I'm feeling really posh, for example. So I could be practicing i we practice a mindfulness right. Whatever give you should be practicing mindfulness always. You know how it is you sit down to meditate, your mind wander and you suddenly realize Oh, I should be meditating.

Right. It's the same it's exactly the same process. Totally one hundred percent exactly the same. You daily life. Is you'll realize oh, I should be being mindful. And so you can be mindful for a while. But then you'll forget. But then you'll number again. And it's just like in meditation. If you keep or memory, and if you keep feeling good power that way, and if you keep holding the intention to be mindful, you see if if I think one of the problems that we have is You tend to be mindful, You suddenly realize that you're not and you get discouraged and you don't even try.

You say oh, I can't do that. But he shouldn't do that. You should you should form the attention reminds it. Okay. I'm going to try to be or mindful. Gonna try to stay mind footprint this moment for as long as I can. Even knowing that you're going to lose your rental for us, it's on might be thirty seconds from hour or might be half an hour from now? But. That have matter. You you'd be as mindful as you can as long as you can, And because you held that intense, you are going to have that experience later on or realizing, oh, I haven't been the nine fault.

If you don't make the effort, you don't hold the intention. You're probably not gonna have that experience until the next day or day after So that's the deal. Okay. And we really we need in indeed develop by well. That really is what stabilizing the intention. That's the greatest gift that you get from stabilizing the attention. Is at a allows even cultivate on right? I know it's getting lit enough that we can't. Right. We we can't start. But you said that you talked about sole creation project, you talked to about it being maybe not as productive as it could be to to be focusing on that...

What did you call them the negative? On the negative. So lacks the absences that... There was a special word for that though. Oh, oh, well. Anyway, that. Next time. Yeah. Do good job. Do. Oh, the the these are the these experiences you have in a dry inside practice where... You you you're your mind loses it's back. Sas of gene grab. I... Yeah. I'm gonna to read about that because because that's important to me, but for for next time, But we just sit around trying to answer instead of what it isn't.

What is it? Yes. Yes, we can. Thank you. So that that's it. That's it. Right there. Well, Yes. But I understand where this goes is if I do not consist this body this mine and some non material magical soul. Mh. What do I just that? That's their question. Mh. When you talked... There were two directions of things not being the way we think they are. There's there's things not being the way they think they are we think they are. Because we were conditioned, and then there was something that I I I found kind of alarming and the idea of it maybe things aren't that call.

And everything is this... You know, when you get down to it, we're all just disappointed migrations, that's Way too basic. It's too disturbing? Well, yeah. It is getting late in i call. And I was just trying. Yeah. Okay. The thing is good. And this is where we have to talk about it. Anyway, you can see things as being is only a conception in mind. Some models real are more useful and more functional hours. But none of them are the way things really are. No. There's a a a a slippery slope that was disastrous press you can go over.

And you start thinking that because nothing's the way my mind can picture it. Nothing makes sense. That's that's not right. That. You know, But as long as you qualify properly, you could say, nothing exists. Absolutely nothing exists in any of the ways that i mine. Can't can sexual it. Still slipped. Right? That's right. Okay. Where you have some favorite you sleep it. Sure there. What you have left over. Reality. As long as there is one, I don't mind that I miss this true. Your your conceptual mind will basically sort itself, so you're not careful.

If it will have exactly the problem, but you're son relieved to avoid. Okay. Etcetera like wants to be charged enough to be able to to maybe it's own picture the what things really are. And so it will resist the idea that All those pictures are all picture. Right. So that's why I'm relying on you next time i maybe talk about some other way it is. Yes. Next time We'll you'll talk about that a... It's gonna take a little words while to to do this. But That's what we want do. I can mine you hope to get really clear.

And when is it that you will be here again, to get... Oh yes. My Every be here next Thursday, and the following Thursday, I don't be here. Pass down. And Kelvin will be sharing the responsibility for Thursday's these and but I won't be here. So it's the third Thursday after tonight. That I'll be that. We were going to canada it for days. Okay. I said let you look. Can I ask a real quick question. Anybody here play the guitar? Okay. About.

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