The Mind Illuminated archive

TCMC 14 July 2011 (Part 1)


(Would you like to write a short summary of this audio? or create a transcript? We need your help! Please leave a comment below and we’ll get in touch with you. Find out more about volunteering.)

Automated transcription

You anyone have anything On their mind? Because I do. For us to talk about. Yes. Not exactly sure how to frame the question, but I have a difficulty understanding how to deal with a conventional reality must deal with conventional reality. Least that's what be at with, I understand. But how to the company of My dealing is a conventional around reality so that I'm creating a a healthy car. I mean, the obvious things if I know I don't steal. And know i don't strike things. Let's strike something. Know, those are very obvious.

But when it comes down to someone who's suffering, you know, and my need to help them versus possible harm come to me or a coming to me trying to help them. I just... I'm having difficulty and seeing how to deal with conventional reality. What I usually do is just sit back and do let that all go by. But there's a way to interact that I'm not quite comfortable with. Can you tell me a little more about that? I guess an example I could give is I loaned a family an apartment to live in for three months while I'm gone and he changes it dramatically about permission.

And do I accept because his intentions are good. Not what he's done do. I I what I did was I sat it down confronted of him and said that it wasn't good at which point he had a very difficult time with that. I was very afflicted by even bringing it up. You see them saying the intentions on all sides were good, but for me to create a good car effect, you plant good car exceeds. I'm working with this reality here. Yeah. So you're talking about skill names. You do best you can't and you cultivate as much wisdom as you can.

And your skill improves as a result of that. And, you know, fairness this there are a simple guidelines that you can like. And the most obvious ones or. Keeping the pre which can be essential as as not causing any suffering the harm not being the instrument if anybody else who's suffering in the car. If is at all voice moment. Okay. So. You know, that's one measured. The other thing is that the problems arise out of motivations for what he do. And so if you look at the motivations for what youtube, and especially, you look beneath the surface of vie Because sometimes your motivations are not what they initially appear to be.

You know, you tell yourself really get started. Right? It that's the way that level down on the front. Something different on. In terms of your motivation. You know, if. If you're dignity how anger or greed of course. Then that's a good reason to either change what you're gonna do or change the motivation for over do. And to degree that you can be aware of the potential for acting out those kinds of motivational is to. He can be more all. If you if we look at this situation that you described. Okay.

So you're You like how many use part? You came back and okay darn a lot of things it as you didn't like. K. On the one. There's absolutely nothing wrong. Was that right. And there's also a possible positive benefit, but is the person guys they may be in some similar or situation in the future. It could take a lesson from, but you know, you don't do things that Listening. Right. That's what I believed my motivation was. Okay. Right. So And do you think that again do you still think that was your motivation?

Was there anything else in there? I still believe lose out it's my motivation. Okay. And so that's is just the question ordinary everyday skill. How well you can convey that. To person. Now there's another half to this. You have there's really no control over how the other person receives it. So after factor. To what degree you can look at the situation and see, perhaps i shave. Done this differently you said that differently whatever. Yeah. Two. Go two let you look at it. You said. Have the best intentions and I can't take it anything else other that differently.

I would be not checking at all. And give yourself a break if you if you think that if you think that you did the best you could you can't control how somebody else takes them. And you you really don't know what's going on in it? Don't know their motivations were for what they did. You know no you don't think about. The had processes what incident to nurse with anger or resentment and hang else might. He as part of their site. So don't take responsibility to for people. That take total responsibility for you and your motivation.

Add your own skill. And anything you can learn from terms I got. Does that help at all in this business with situation in general? Yes. Got. Yep. All you can do is your desk. And get down to the trisha in the row people. The I have in this encounter was that he was he is. Later after he calmed down was, I was making improvements. I thought I was giving you flowers who wouldn't want flowers My response to that was how do you know I'm not allergic to the flowers. So very go to fine. You know So how how things which may do this person?

The friendly we're restore friends. Okay. He's right way often and it's fine. Yeah. Well hopefully, you know, he doesn't need to stay backed off, but, you know, to the reason he understands, Did you know what what he was trying to do? Yes. Flowers, but didn't work out. Yeah. You you can't take responsibility for other people's reactions state. There were people i didn't like to Buddha. Is all guys trying to kill them. Boom. So you know But wasn't that kind of a succession kind of thing if the police gets knocked off then the cousin can hear the the big seat.

Oh, there's a lot of jealousy and and things like that Yeah. I just think that would be, you know, standard operating procedure in the royal powers. Well, but you have to understand. There was no royalty seat that we had. Care enough just claimed fathers. Sergeant. So the cousin just cleaned in, like, the the name. My cousin was was Jealous. And yes. And angelo. Yeah. So I have a question myself, if I may. That has only oblique to do with meditation, but a great deal to do with stories that we tell ourselves while back.

Thirty years. I I lost a brother who was very valuable to me. He was very valuable to the whole family. It was one of those things where the the blow just basically changes everything for everyone. The family business. And just it keeps. Well, I used to have dreams in which I visited him after he was dead. And they were remarkably compelling dreams. And after fourteen years of being in terrible brief. I finally said, you know, they go for this I need. And I got some. And I was unable to speak to my brother in a dream and say, yeah.

I finally know you're dead. I mean, because in the threes before, I never know. I wouldn't remember. In fact, I'd wake up from the and i was one day. I remember I was so happy. And so I couldn't figure out what had finally gone night with my life after misery for so fairy. And I was seeing and I was happy and i thought, well, this is a nice change of pace. I think I'll phone up my brethren. Telling. And, you know, it was literally it was impossible for me to her remember and instead. Finally, then after getting help, I had a farewell wheel kind of dream where I said, yeah, I understand it.

And I'm okay. And then he never showed up in my dreams anymore. Until today. And I was very pleased to see him again and then I woke up, and I find... Yes. I'm right back and in grasp in in wishing that this person were dead anymore. And it has given a tooth to my whole day where I'm not getting over in the street. So obviously, there's this story going on. And I would like your tank. These... I mean, this visitation in dream thing has... Instead of turning out to be gosh I'm glad to see you. Once you wake up, there's the rest of...

And now, I don't get to have that unless there's another degree. And I would sure like to come back to the present instead of being lost in my dream where I'm still stuck even right now. So we got two cents. Well, I just shake the same how of things right. Told you you heard me other other people work. Just just look at. Just. Be mindful fully aware i what's present It's the present reality and your motion security by the train. he still lost my attachment. Yeah. So i said. Doesn't seem quite human to try and say, oh, I guess I won't be attached to him bleeding was matter you can never decide about to be attached to anything.

Okay. To the shift that takes place that leaves you unchecked has to take place and I conscious just love all you can do is create but those circumstances causes gonna be additions. Which you do by bringing power of awareness to the situation in its entirety team. They completely the open to and accepting this is your feelings. This is your reaction and just just be there what's that Who come being with... It seems paradox. Being with a feeling as it is right now seems more likely to keep it the way it is than to...

I can't if you with it. He it's he's to death party with issue. He can wall it. And there is a certain even on one other hand, you don't like it. And in other answers that kind of pleasure it comes from these things. Now I I'm not talked about time about observing it objectively with without jasmine just acceptance. Yes is the way he is. How works interesting. You see something very obvious. I think there's nothing into your from head Tar source. Yes. K. It's equally obvious that whatever that unconscious process is.

It has not been affected why. Carrie has happening in all the years since brother. Alright. Alright. Mh. And that's the way it is with unconscious processes. They're in their time secluded place. Something will happen and allow them to manifest. Do what last thing is bring up attach my previous regime. Do a lot of emotions and things like that. And then they go back and little technical and they're cut off and everything. And they still don't know didn't didn't make changed. They don't know. They you don't or.

They won't know. Until you hold the whole situation in your conscious awareness whatever, you are conscious of. Becomes accessible. So when when some part unconscious part of your mind, that is problematic in segue. Benefits turn your consciousness and accounts to it turned their attention to it and and incorporate what gets doing with the reality of the present moment. When you do that, what that is? It's called a connection to reality here. It's got president connection to a present moment. No longer, you hold that and and you're not just rare.

More of that information trickle down. That part the part yourself. I have never been so acutely aware. Of the stories, I just make up out of all cough. As when feeling with the dealing with this then it's... And I you know, you you you had pointed out, we make stories. And and from the moment, you have pointed that out, I've been trying to train myself to watch for it. It was harder to see it first. And now it's blinding. But it doesn't mean that I can stop them. It just means I could trim by them.

Yeah. This see the problem is there's no eye to stop that. So you. That But but you yourself that would better it it's very so feeling. Yeah very relationship she and which you just keep in mind that that that feeling as though, there's an that should be able to control this mind or this other stuff. That's lose. Because, you know, it's sort of, like a a flock of bridge flying and it go this way and then the flock decides the change direction go then. There's no pod that said. Okay, everybody for on this right now.

That's just lovely. Have you... Are you have you any interest in getting articles? I just got one in my email. That says keeping distance from from your sense of self viewing your life from a sense of observer remote miss turns out to have enormous health benefits. This article was talking all around meditation without using the word. And this was some wonderful scholar. Gosh look at this if you change your perspective to changes your whole life. You have even the least interested in having these things where the kids out there are saying gee with at that.

No I i I need interested. Okay. I that same. And what that order was talking about. You see we start out the point again, i ourselves as our ego as the network construct that we be out. That we are. And, you know, a really valuable shift make is just is just to to have our experience be that of the I involved una witness to us product. So, So then then the ego structure itself becomes part of what's out there you can look at what's the the una attached witness and of your ge. Doing. that's the all the that.

Because it seems to me that it won't like those things really different. Sort of compassion, you know, and kinda like hold it on. In this kind of fashion that way that it makes it really different thing. But yeah. Yeah. That's important i think... Is important. House. So seems it's probably his bad by the far, but. It seems like it allows it to relax if you like. One things that to that taking the perspective of of the witness as allows you need to. It it allows you to have good match cell. Yes.

And so easy to generate your passion for other people but not have low international forgiveness, things like that written you so and you if you find the center and stop paying involved and you are part of everything else that you were free to have both compassion. Yeah. That's you're actually encouraging get that. That's why Do. Jason kind of meditation. This really important part. Yeah. Sure first step. Speaking how large. I don't know it's really. But it feels like the Sometimes you learn that you guys so from compassion.

Yeah. Which doesn't they saw spin a certain mold supposed to, you know, whatever. Make it's whether it's that perspective or the respect and get like. And I think it's kinda like the citation then is to, like, pick these new ideas and transfer that whole actually? Oh, yeah. And it's like really important and recognize to be but have the sort it's not necessarily. Absolutely you're you're absolutely right and that setting important sync to be aware was tendency to take anything do to learn? Incorporated to the disable.

Patterns. Mh. Well, it's interested about time for us too begin. And So before we do, I have got an connection at time chris is She's done... She got away his span to the son last time I was here. She said a nice card about how lovely thinks were in Spain everything starts so well. But since that, she's had to return because her father is talking. And so i would be here if we could send our our lot of our prayers our compassion towards her hand or other and kinda, like. I don't know the details of front.

Whether everybody's alive brothers sisters, things like that. But if you could. Keep those keep keep them in our minds. And then discovered that there are at least two other people here whether it's this evening, is others are also dying right now. When they're ready anymore. So let us let us keep all these people. Alright. And in our hearts wish them good. Like passages, take place and and the easiest and frozen.

You can edit the title and description of this talk to help us organise the content and make it better searchable.

Edit talk