TCMC 31 March 2011 (1 of 2)
good afternoon. So anybody wants to start off with discussion about something That be? Yes ma'am. So when you're not doing a retreat or on a day like, just one moment here, what is your daily meditation My daily meditation practice... I usually meditate in the morning when I get or sometimes before i get they've them out for hours. But when that time... Here I did an extra hour and there's reason some Friday morning. I don't know me get a saturday. It's just it's there. If you ever heard let it tape and you just on your own home?
Sometimes but not very often because as you know, a live with my parents usually double check out on that. Right. Nasty. He's usually not going on or take. So you don't stay when you come in on Thursday and are here on Friday, you come back again? Or, how i stayed? Okay That's. Okay. I makes some solutions. Yeah. That wouldn't make a lot of sense. Right that there's name. Try back in. But but we've only established from being retreat that there's a certain major of tough required. So no who knows.
But i my. Very good time. Are you aware of your breath most of the day? I mean, you try to keep lined under debris in the not to follow settings. So very months during the day. I wouldn't say most, especially when events. For the last few days matthew Really hard to get right now. Better. There are a lot of lot of release where you can. Keeping sustained in the risk of view. And then I like to do that. I think is helpful I is very helpful. Yeah. So you you may be... Your your attention may be focused on something else statements this same that to.
But. That is it's just... It has two. That's. It does william enforce sitting back. Make it easier to sit down correct to a stable attention there. Angel. I didn't do we do it so much for that. He. It just sort of stabilizes your awareness and makes it easier nine four. You have many trips you use to lane itself to do that or or suggestions? So you know how someone so many think to and thanks know and the reading? Well, you kind first of all is You you need to identify when you're going to do an.
Let's like something you could do when driving fine. It's something that you can do when you're standing and i like check the line. There's lot speech situations like that. And then the next problem i wanted and never to do it. And a select member two which turn back to some awareness. Spell over integrated versus getting And so you set the intent tension and repeatedly, it becomes half of after while. Yes. You've your mind? A leave. We've mind, taking another objective meditation, particularly if something of a problem and when you kinda wanna go there.
And and to someone, the little extent, I think we've also outlined following a particularly pleasant sensation or experience here you know, because some know those john can and offering operating something that's very appealing to stay with. And the idea is simply to to to reside in that, I guess. And and see where it goes. But I'm still very fuzzy on when you do which and what motivates you to change and there is this confusion of... Well un unfolding my address. No not. And following my breath in my toes.
Now I'm not. I'm following this very expensive very very expressive feeling my in in my skin. No. I'm not. And at at some point, that's where I get the feeling I'm doing it wrong because I don't I don't know which How telling they decide and when he said him on it, does it sounded like breath was preliminary and there was some more stuff to do. Okay. Well, I'm not... I'm not sure exactly following what you're saying about. Know, you say were doing this and then no I'm not Yeah. Well, it it's it's like...
I thought I was following my breath. And then at some point you'd mentioned a lot sure can you breathe in your toes. So looking for that. No, not really. But I was for that moment not on the breath. And then there was this was pleasant sensation in my skin them I thought I'd go with that. And then during this recent retreat, there was an interval where you had said Might get colors you might get sound I got with my eyes closed this most wonderful emerald color that I simply wanted to sit and watch.
So I did that for a, but wasn't my breath. And there was there was this... Oh have I lost it? Or what? Confusion. Well, bottom line. Start your you're cultivating the ability to sustain stable attachment. And you're also cultivating the ability to sustain and awareness beyond just the narrow focus or whatever you're intending to. Mh. I So, you know, the course of doing that, you're you're exercising the different ways that you can intentionally control attention by directing your attention from one thing to another.
And utilizing different things. K help you sustain your attention longer. Yeah And as far as the awareness goes was here year. You're practicing being aware over a variety names even while you're paying attention to something different. So it can take many different forms. Okay. When when you are focusing your attention on your. You're naturally aware right more than there. But you find the more closely you focus on your grid, the last year there. So one out really ways in practice is to focus more closely in your breath.
While time to sustain coronavirus. Okay. The most important, the ultimately most valuable this broader awareness, is the part of that awareness that. Involves your own mind, what's happening when you mind including? Whether are not usually doing what you intended to do. So there different ways that he practice that, you know, even even while still attending to the sensations of the rep. Being aware we're first of all being aware that you are interacting out being aware of be a feeling tone of your mind, mean natural state, a degree of agitation of this president, the kinds of distractions and maybe can be improve your attention.
So sometimes you're practicing in in that way. So all these different things that you mentioned, these are all aspects of code the practice, but what they all come down to is that you're you were trying to achieve. Stability of attention which doesn't mean rigid fix the tension, but that that the vague movement of your attention and how else sustained is under is being intentionally to turn. They holding an intention and and that's being manifested by the bringing potential Pa. So when you were following the breath?
And vastly more pleasant sensation offers itself you want to say where will this go? Then to will fully say, okay. I'm leaving my breath to go over here is not a failure of will. It's to to be seduced into... This is very pleasant I want to see this. That's right. But there to You can intentionally pursue any attractive thing becomes along. And the also of that will be that you don't develop much stability by intentional control pump. You have the illusion of intention, but you really doing Mean your made good and like.
Yeah. Desires. Okay. But that that was my secret concern but. Just Well, so there's a simple rule that will resolve most of those situations and attractive distractions, but also paying the sterling thoughts all kinds of things like that. If you can't succeed in setting it aside you can't succeed in pick ignore if you can just stay with notation object. Allowing i get to be in the background. And that's what you should should do. But if the total under your retention is so strong that you're not succeeding.
You have that subject of experience that I can't. I can't do it face. Then you you what you do because you can intentional at that point. Right, perfect. For those I'm getting medicaid on. For those things that I'm still very vague on what properties that would be in a recognizable stake state. A State. Still very vague. I know they're out there. I know we studied that, and I'm I'm I'm willing to let those be and i'm kinda Kinda trying to figure out how you There's there's no mild enough word for this.
Are you how you how you following your way into that? From your breath. We... There was a a moment I had where... Yeah. I could stay with my breath. But that but I I I i really... There was this color, and and I wanted to go look at that. And and it seemed like that was a cool thing, and I never got Around talking about it. Well, that's again think this gonna every everyone. You're right. Yep. There's a whole variety of things they've been kinda along And enterprise the most. It ones a really attract it is been a really wider colors something peter's or a really pleasant sensation.
You know. Right. So you can push that aside and you can go with your breath. But if you're trying to in John's state isn't that like, you you didn't do that right either. She push it well. You're talking about John that's if you're doing a john practice, the first few thing you wanna do is stabilize your retention. And then if there is a a light raise And if you have the intention that you're going to see if you can use that, as an amendment that andrew into solution. And the first thing you wanna do is let it to develop and on to until becomes really strong and standards at well.
So you can... So you can take as an object and use it. But that's that's sort of the last step. That's when you're ready okay. I think I think it have enough unification applying potential stability, everything else. I believe that Phenomenon has good developed strongly a statement that I can take you as an object. To that's the last day. Okay. So... The rest of the time when these things come out. Just let let them do their thing. So they'll be back a couple of months what For. Yes. So know them...
And as an been, one way look at at apologies i know is... Don't claim to that. They they they they come by an accident. Yeah. That's an important issue. Develop the skill so that you can create the necessary conditions so that they will assist company. I if you decide you wanna work with the elimination for, but right accounts there. Then the way you should approach that is to practice in such way that that you can do that consistently whenever you want to. You you understand what's required to contact to verizon then you practice and such that.
You can do that consistent. Okay. Then started working with it. But to start saying, oh, that was lovely. I have again, we're chasing after like no. Most of the is kinda work. And instead doing the practice and way was kinda really so it apply your skills. You're just gonna sit there state you can induce this thing or little. So that is why you keep encouraging us to return to the breath because the stability then that we build will eventually apply. Any lights and colors you stated here any other?
Are purely incidental tax available in themselves totally lessons. Side effects having for some period of time that achieved a certain degree stability and identification in your line. And it's happened by accident, it's not gonna dig anything good. Okay. Evening to the rest of you that I'm guessing. Anybody here that's new tonight? Your all just as welcome as if this is your first name. Right. My why called and breathing and active in like fast getting I'm eating my unusual breath I guess I i'm nervous briefing without me i i've been anyone I'm Not just waiting in ai and ex exhale and speak abraham so.
When we first started meditating I thought that I was supposed to be just observing as. And... But I I always I mean, the... Seems like the meditating is probably be the things student. Quite really than just. Yeah breathing, but I I then... I guess more consciously dealing the next failing in and i started I started thinking verbally league in him on exhale August. And I that that's improving my to say with my ground. And I may things that are drawing, you know extraneous sites they're talking not along with but twenty am on ex, with they they drop and about me going up on tangent.
And so it seems like it's sort of ended my my breath process verbally You know, for nineteenth pete, It it's i don't know sees here or gonna see they're gonna get more observation about the growth, but I think that it's enough it... But I'm interested. Yeah. But first at all, the the verbal labeling you find out... That's that's great idea. That's good. Have feel three to do that. There will come a point where you don't need it anymore. Especially when you're trying to be more clearly aware of more certain of sensations.
And you, we found of extremely aware that the insertion of that vertical label is a very noticeable disruption in your awareness service the sensation and at that point, until the point go ahead and use it at that point, you be will naturally feel like is not like. Now as far as intentionally controlling your breathing active breathing rebate, i I gathered that. It's not very helpful. But ideally, you can get to place where where the body breathes by itself passively. And you're just... You're just the observer.
You're not active the pure acid breathing that you're talking about. Now when you pay... When you're paying attention to your graph? Get a alter some. He may have a sense that your breathing is not the same as it would be if you was thinking about something or engaged activity. That may me true. This matter fact it. Oh certainly. If you're trying to if you're consciously intentionally focusing on sensations to the ground and trying to be to aware of one that beginning in the end of the is the beginning on each out.
K the breath probably is being altered. But the question is whether you are intentionally or whether it's happening me and more an unintentional subconscious way. Admittedly in a response to the observation, but you're not in intentionally trying to control. And fast happening, left i have. When you hit if though we talking about well, if I deliberately take of reference just this long and just this strong, and exhale just this long and just this strong. Yeah. Try moving away from that and just just releasing your body to go.
To bring in more natural way. But not being worried is on track to get it's not the same natural way that it will be otherwise. You know, there there are a lot of practices that have involved in intentionally control here. And, you know, those those obviously have some value where people wouldn't do that. But we're just using the breadth as a convenient how it's free well an arbitrarily only chosen all object. It's convenient because it's there it goes on by itself. And it's useful because it changes over time.
Each each breath and involves the sequence months are changing experiences. And node tube breaths or exactly the same. So that makes it a really nice knowledge object to use for meditation. What? What we're really trying to control is the tendency of the line to to get ordered to the breath and wander all over and wanna do that change. Yeah. So we're better off treating the graph. On in a more task way. The way you would if you're were meditating on campbell frame or a lot or a statue or something package she have no control over and what you're what you're trying to do is to exercise your ability to keep redirecting your attention back to the.
And to sustain your attention on that or longer longer periods of time. And to become aware of what kinds things drawing detention away. That's... That those are the things that you want to be a aware of. And the more active reading is. The less of those other things you're going to be actually accomplishing. So... But but the more but an important distinction, which I don't know that it really got. It is are you intentionally controlling the breath to make it easier to attend to. Or are you noticing that it's it's not happening you know has completely natural ways.
One of the things that i noticed is two why I didn't get some like you what I would call very satisfying, and if it seems like you know, the muscular system. There's some some key there where I get to a point my in And it it feels like That completed or, you know, story says, smart f vue land. I can only do that. It it's very rarely. Can i do that twice in a row. It's not so much that I relayed him. All landed up air, but it's almost like that. And and I don't know whether they're whether that's other people like that?
Or i know Like I they only me part in a sense. So I was thirty years and and you know, that be play some with it, but I would really like to get that full really there's... I mean we can't be but very german that being like on the other I just say fulfilling just happened by itself. Well I don't know if this wanted get hit. I just I just I just don't know. You know, I've I've been watch trying to watch my I'm was driving hard instance. Know get a good breath. And I'll be aware, it but otherwise I just not aware.
But but when you're on that happens, I mean, if you if you deliberately get that, you'd know you to really get it that right. Well, well, I'm trying to... I would like try to me something it it's just is all i. You know, striving to get another air Mh. And and it's it's not why eventually short breath, but for for the most part, I never really seem to get that full of the breath, and I've I've heard I read I've heard about shallow breathing and it's not too good for you because you never you you limit at your lunch capacity to to thing air in.
And i'm not sure where I've heard that, but it makes sense to me. I I noticed on the other hand of and state of, did my turn to force all the air one, it was my So On the anesthesiologist I just... I just went whatever happened to happen. But when i the email I really would like to get a full computer or in indiana and sometimes they'll get there and I sometimes more off. I. Yeah. It's not like that. Get busy or anything but. Got than say minute. I'd like to get a full breath there every time. I had good it maybe four hundred series seven or times.
And I think I don't know that's... I guess It's affecting the whole process my. Yes. Well, I I would really recommend that you I mean you can give you use breathe life and your asleep, and there's has no intentional control nice spend most of the rest of your rating hours. Know, you're allowing your body to breathe and cell naturally. And i I really suggest for you do have and meditation and rather than than trying to alter through the breath. Why didn't she sustain an awareness of the kind of experience you're having ground.
Now that's a really good wholesome thing to do. How was in. And you how Sex field as we feel compared to connect. But the role of the passive observer rather than the intentional manipulator of the situation. And, you know, if you think you have... If you're concerned about the health of your lungs and things that you heard about, Shallow breathing down into do some breathing exercises apart from meditation. To to address those concerns. Because, you know, if if you if you want to do this practice, you need to be in that really objective space, not not be not to feel learn in an manipulate you later and to do just the passive observer and training your ability to observe changing your your attention training your awareness.
But your awareness can take in all these other things. Awareness can take him your subject to experience with the breath satisfying or not. That's all Absolutely legitimate. K. That's what I would suggest. Hey. I mean I read somewhere that every saudi Grass you have, like an exodus sign What what do you you know, what you will notice is, especially if you're breathing naturally during meditation just observing it, just observing it. That your your your breath does change as your concentration and deepens.
You know, you're breath will get very very quiet. And then every now then you'll take you'll spontaneously take a deep. This doesn't matter we do this the rest of the time as well we're not so aware of it. So there are these cycles in the graph and these occasional deeper graphs. They're completely the normal and notice them in your meditation does That's a good that's is fine.