The Mind Illuminated archive

Stronghold Retreat; Day 2, 27 March 2011

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We have a question the Ball physical local movement Due to energy. Mh. Is that something you should just let happen and let it take its course or should you be trying to do something different with that. Sometimes it can be pretty intense other times just a little bit. Well, in general, it's best to just let it let it be and let it works recordings. Sometimes it can't be very intense and painful. Sometimes they can just be enormously distracting. If it's really distracting, and, you know, if it keeps taking your attention a away meditation object.

Then you can take some aspect of the physical movement has just something to observe in place on throughout that. Snapshot your attention way. But you can actually work with that henry. Usually, when it's painful or when it's very intense, It is. As so there's a blockage, and it can't move freely. Never have that. Just just so intense that it's distracting. It I find it more kinda interesting on when is it gonna happen every time. And And then sometimes it'll just suddenly stop. So it more of a interesting thing.

Yes. It tends to be you're interested in that you're curious about it yeah. And it's inevitable that to a certain degree know, you are going especially with it's doing something do different. You're you're going to inevitably look at it. Been development now. Say correspondence between sensation and whatever channel or event or whatever it's standing for. It's is there is there a relationship between home that means this? Well, there this experience these energies and the body is universal. And in many cultures they've developed a collaborative systems of description around it, that chakra is and the Na system.

And the g and all all of the ingredients and and Chinese and so forth. And within those systems, their interpretations and attached a lot of meaning and significance. And my teachers never gave that much attention at all. Doesn't a matter of fact knocked all the instruction I ever got was ignore and keep. And no more interpretation than that. And it doesn't seem like it's necessary to get into interpreting it. But in general, what I have found, and this is consistent with what how these different library systems site.

It's... Know, we call it energy, because it feels like an in the body. That it needs to be able to move and it needs to be able to move freely. And there's some esoteric phenomenon that we refer to as blockages that sometimes need to be worked with. And the direction of movement can be very significant and how we experience it. And and my experience and with the people that I've worked with, and it's a very interesting major. Chinese people always just very strongly fairly early on the meditation practice.

All movements are cheap And if your first experience of it is mainly in your century in the center of your body and trying to rise you know, more likely to have a lot of struggle with it and feel like blockages and, you know, other sensations. It can produce violent jerk movements of the body too. Whereas if your first experience of that energy is something that is moving from the core of your body and and back forth. And you go through a period that before you started to experience rising, then it usually is...

Lot easier to to be with and to allow us to develop and it doesn't create as much discomfort. And you can't... You can you you become aware of this energy very clearly if you do the practice of experiencing the body with the graph. At first, it's just a very subtle sensation. But then as you continue in your practice, if it will become very strong, And if that's how you first experienced it, it is precisely that feeling of something moving out to the periphery you feel. You feel moving to toes to to your hands to, you know, it's like an expansion and contraction and body.

And in that particular phase that often causes a person to start. Producing kind of a rocking movement or back and forth it. It's like happen. What it actually is? Interesting question. Except that I think the answer is can the brain. It's something that's going on in the brain. And Probably someday, somebody will investigate with the right equipment, fm mri or something like that, but to find out what's happening. And my suspicion is because of the way it feels is they're probably gonna find it's some sort of wave like electrical activity that involves the motor cortex or the during the sensory cortex brain.

And wanna gets rid of the intensive skills over into the motor cortex and causes movement. That's just my idle speculation. Nobody's really... I I don't think it involves anything really happening in the body. You know when people experience. So it's very painful they have very painful experiences like it's trying to rise up. And it feel like it's blocked in index for example. Have extremely painful sensations in their debt. But I don't think there's actually anything physically in the... Anatomical structures of the neck that is have abnormal in the least.

I think all of that is happening some comments like you get it arises very typically after person been meditating for a certain period of time and they developed stability of attention energy movements along with other bodily sensations say are unusual. And other things that go there sometimes saliva salvation, tiers, those, trembling, you know, different things like that. And this this is sort part of my interpretation of what the the energy sensation is i I I believe there's actually some changes taking place in the way your brain works.

Because the next thing beyond this, is the place where your body feels just delicious perfectly still and you don't wanna move I mean, you can price, but you just... It feel so good you don't want to and to sit for two hours three hours at a time is, you know, Very easy to do. Without pain. No discount. And to that system. These experiences collectively resulted it at the same time as if you're in right, noise in the years. Not everybody has all of these. But but collected thing who collectively these things that are oh classification of the senses.

And it leads to what's called physical clients. Because your body is plan in the sense that it feels really good. Set for a long time. When you get up from a cushion even you've been sitting for two or three hours. It lays on sleep and join some her like that. And the pleasurable aspect of it is called the the bliss of physical finance today what happens That. It's got very quiet. And so quiet in fact, that it almost became a negative that was kind of desolate. There's a certain degree of loneliness with that seemed to be attached to this.

Just guarded practice. Mount minus? Yeah. Loneliness. Kind of tied to the quiet was too quiet. It was just kind of comm quiet. Well, it's it's good to come to placing a pretty illness quiet. And at that time, Things come out. So a feeling of loneliness and it's one of those things that I suspect might have behind it. So some emotional content that needs to come up and be released. I don't know you've ever had any experiences, maybe child of abandoned mood or anything like that, but... And I'm not saying if this company the general for phenomenon.

This is just an example. Somebody who feels loneliness and desperation coming up in meditation when it minds very still. They continue with and at some point. If I out some memory something to happened in their childhood when they felt abandoned, maybe they feared that their parents were never going to come back or something like that. And and then, of course, it's an opportunity to just be with that and let it go. So I don't know if that's what it is, but it's it's possible. What else otherwise your meditation is Is there you have joy and pleasant for you hit through?

Yeah. Yeah. That's my was kind of strange. I I did feel joy. And the meditation seemed to be going very well. And it was noticeable how quiet my mind to be And then that kinda came. And it it kind of made me what stop meditating for a while. Well maybe I should just take a break. See if it comes back. But I kept going kinda of didn't get any worse and I could tolerate it, so I just I just let it be. I think that's the best thing to do. And it's something something helps me come of. Or it may not.

But if you can just, you know, let it be there not resist continue with your meditation unless it's so strongly that you need to direct your attention towards it. But just just see there goes and see what happens with that. Could you definitely anything like. Experience of the loss of itself like the, know like tongue... Well that's your name. Know about which sounded something like that. Yes. And the the the the the main reason that it didn't occur I mean that it might be that is because George didn't describe it as being preceded by some experiences of things dissolving into emptiness or dissolution other things or the sense of you know, really strong sense to lost itself.

Sending that you didn't have that experience. Correct. Got. This morning. Nine when... And this is the first time went heard. Talk about salvation. Mh. This morning, I was just having so much saliva salvation I had to swallow every second and and I was sitting between two people. I I kept thinking thought were gonna just clarify from when you're saw? Stop swallowing. You. And I know they could probably hear it. I couldn't. Okay. That's one of the things that happens with me too, you know, like, as as I'm going into the real deep state concentration.

Start sal have to swallow very frequently. My son's start twitch the journey. So little science that just something is happening. But yeah, the saliva celebration Yeah. You keep swallowing and saw and saw. I couldn't see where it was all coming from. Yes i'm in a very interesting session after lunch. It has this morning oh. We've been talking that. There's actually one of the best sessions ever because in what we've been talking about is you you go too much into the breath. You're on. You need to reserve a little bit for context.

You know like awareness part. And, you know, my problem with that is it's more fun to think about breath. Know So it's kind of shame to take manage away from that. But i certainly agree. I won't you're once take it in there. Oh god. Yeah. So I understand neat what so I don't know what may viewed is but I we talked in our little session today about... You know, there's the medication object. Then there's all other things going on and the press of that you could think about is this awareness. But also then there's the I am thinking about my breath.

Right the awareness of... Hey you're thinking i with the brett and you said, yes. That's part of my four awareness. The knowing that you were doing that. So I decided what I would do, is with with every breakfast, which is really a good part, you know? It feels really good. I would like, try to know that I'm doing it. In fact, I even think I sort of said that word something knowing. That guess i felt the depressed commit. And it felt like I was feeling that breath in a somewhat different way. And I could go as deep into it as I wanted to united any detail i wanted.

And I kept doing that. I discussing all. Oh. And I stayed with it. I only lost it once or twice married brief the whole session. And I kept telling myself. Remember I to did this remember I ended that I have good experience. No idea how I got there. One thank. Thank you. Stick with it. Remember I didn't did this really. I you did this. So it's health integrated. A annoying part so integrate it with the sensing part mh. And... Okay. That's really good. To to to a phrase watching the mine watch the breath.

Did end without experience. Well, it it... At first blush, it doesn't, because it sounds like two separate things. This was more like the way I was much was in knowing way and knowing right. So it was not a different thing, but doing the same thing in a different way i the stairs something knowing as I'm doing again. And it didn't get in way of the to. So you yes. Okay. So The the knowing that you were watching the breath was not a separate and distinctive didn't feel sac which was the good thing about over their simultaneously change the one just sort of overlapping the other.

Yeah. Yeah. That was a good yeah. I think i was nancy machine but I'm not of He figured right it was Nancy machine know. It's it's in in exactly the same way and for a very similar reason when you were talking about the movement of attention unaware. I was I was trying to can i my way out of dull by by changing how I relate to the breath and I was doing a very similar thing. I I'm... I made it my mind that I would I would have close attention focus when it comes in and then try and be aware of my environment as totality when I let it out, and that would kind of divide more even leave and just be cooling away.

And that worked, but it It it really wasn't any easier to hang on to after he kinda got into a rhythm of it. It it became all close because you were so busy attending to which one am I on? Yeah. Do you do you doing something novel? Tends to make you sharpen your awareness and to improve your stability that much it give becomes familiar as less effective yeah. Okay. Well, it was fun. Yeah. Was was good thing to try. That's a good thing to try. Bye. The only thing you really really need to be aware of other than the sensations of the graph.

When you are have the state where in danger or losing your attention to losing your focus to a distraction or losing a with don't. The only thing you need to be to of in addition to the breath sensations, he your mind and some form that will allow you to detect that you're starting to raise your focus. Started take pension all. And that's what... See that's what Deal was just talking about that... He as he it the words he puts it in is that he was in that place knowing that I'm watching grow. And so while in that place.

Should some distraction come along, you'll also know that your attention is being drawn away and then just bring it back. Or you'll know that you'll know that the clarity with which you're proceeding the begins to diminish that begins to become dull, and then you can do something to to brighten know that. So that's all that's necessary. Everything else it's just ways of getting there. And So when you focus on the grid, but you're trying to allow not to shut out other awareness. That other awareness is first of all, it's going help forest all the.

Because it's gonna keep your mind more. But it's not really the sound of the birds or like that. It's what important is that this expanded awareness is going to include that intros awareness of what's happening in your mind. What will happen though is there'll we thoughts come and go when you're aware the starts are having go and you're aware that they're staying in the background where they belong and that's good. But then you're aware that this one that's the longer thing in the background. That either your mind is being drawn towards it or sometimes it's just going stronger and stronger and on.

So let's see it's the same thing. That gives you the opportunity to to make a correction. Because if the thing is that you can't... You can't correct for something until you know what's happening. It seemed like my meditation it was the lunchtime on that just after lunch. Seemed like all I was doing was saying I'm going back to the breath. Okay. I'm going back to the breath again. And about that that quickly just it it I I kept losing it, but I kept knowing that I had lost it, but there was no question I have lost it.

U. So... And i it doesn't usually happen that way. Right? With you. It's says... Oh no. This was it's like back again. And and it was it was tears. Yep. So it that's get really tedious, but to keep it from getting to. What you need to do is when you... When you realize that you're not calling. Your end a better state of awareness in consciousness. Right? Right. So you don't need to rush back to the breath instantaneously. You can take whatever time a second or whatever. So just to recognize that yes, this is the clarity of consciousness, that I want indeed to say on the grill.

And then when you go back to the breath, just try to try to keep that as long as you can. Or other brass or another two breaths or however long you can't. That clarity of, you knowing, what you're doing and knowing that it is what you intend to be to. I wanna say is that it looks like all I'm getting is the clarity. To see myself wander more quickly more more... It just looks like I'm in deeper trouble. Because I can see it more clearly. I'm saying is... You don't want to... You don't want to see it that way.

You don't want to focus on the fact that but my mind is wondering a lot now, and that's a bad thing or maybe your mind isn't wandering, but I keep forgetting the breath a lot. And that's... you know, when you started regarding that is a bad thing that, you know, the my meditation is terrible right now. I think you wanna stay out of that place, so that the experience that's important is that you remembered what it is you supposed to be done. And so have that in the forefront of your awareness. That's what's really important.

Because you can, you know, you can forget and then realizing that you've forgotten and take yourself back and it can go on and on and on the ninth. And why is it ever gonna change? But the only way it will change is if you you you want to reinforce positively that mental state on having that awareness of This is what is happening. This is what I intend to be happening. Are they the same or are they not? Right that that bullish date of awareness it. And I know that a lot of I I know this isn't your typical meditation.

And you got for a long time doing other practices. But which probably didn't involve focusing on that highly desirable and actually delightful quality of when you do come back into the presence, and you do know what's going on. So now although most of the time meditation does that, whenever it happens I you did today, regard this as a gift. It's a wonderful opportunity to cultivate that that appreciation for awareness. K. K. I'm into too. And it will reinforce the rest of your practice as well. Okay You ever her the the turn or clear property comprehension?

No. I'm still learning all the vocabulary that you been give Yes sir. I probably shouldn't talk anymore on it. Oh that's fine. No. No. It's okay. I just I just I just need a vocabulary. It's used to be translated into english to clear comprehension as it's defined as knowing what you're doing. Knowing whether or not are knowing why you're doing it. What is per what the purposes is behind it. Thirdly, knowing whether or not, it's what he should be doing, want to be doing tend to be done. Clear comprehension, you can see you can apply that to every moment of your life.

Right right? What am I doing? Why am I doing is it appropriate, but I'm doing it. So is it still clear comprehension when you absolutely know You've been seduced into a thought and you're and and you're you say yourself... Yeah. Well, I know my breath is over here but that I've just got from here. It's gives clear comprehension issue you. Know what you're doing? You know, while you're doing it? And you clearly know that it's not what you intend to be doing or that not sent with your values and beliefs, goals and intentions and things like that.

If you are really clear on that, so alright can hit That is going to make it a lot easier for you to let go of the tractor side and come back. Right for right now, though, there's this... Naughty is too strong a term. But there is this sense of... I know my brother's over... you know, with the knowing better, and i'm still getting kinda... You yes. It's attractive and you I haven't quite got mh even though I know, I want to go back to my breath. That hasn't made the distraction yet. One wit less attractive.

Yeah. But it's it's not that there is a singular you this self side. That is in this not mood. It's rather there's one part of view that wants to meditate once through scale, wants they enjoy all the fruits and benefits of it. And there's another part of your mind. That hasn't bought in totally can't get when it gets control it's kinda look at it and say, yeah. I'm looking at this thought. I state why? Yeah, because it makes me feel good. And it's not it's it's not buying into the the the set of values.

Yeah. That would allow you to immediately let go of it bring back bring your attention today. Okay. So I just know that. So so now I have to be the salesman to to to make a pitch for these aspects that... I'm buying it. Yet. Well, it it... It it's a little more subtle than that. You... You know, one way or another, yeah, you you do you want to bring your attention back. And certainly the part of your mind sets a value on meditating. He is going to enter into dialogue with a part of your mind but once to do this once engage in this smartphone top process.

And so there's no u that has to do anything other dan. I I mean... These are these part of the parts of you. Mh. And So as long as as as they're all engaged, there's gonna be some point where you do come back from meditation. I mean, everybody's done that. Everybody does that. Some... you know, they're there's seduced. And they engage they keep having a this slack kinda, you know, I really should go back from the meditation eventually you do it might take seconds and might tape several minutes. But so lady you go back.

I found some... Now the sales part. Yeah. Really important sales shop. That's kinda work itself out. And you could have... You you could invoke some other part of your itself that's the self judging disciplinary that's gonna come in. Sc you things like it. It's not necessarily gonna help too much. The the re... What's what's gonna really help the sales job part of it is to truly be aware of the beneficial qualities of meditation when you're experiencing them So when you're when you're enjoying the sense of of of peaceful as or joy or happiness, you know, the more the more allow the more you allow yourself to be fully aware of those things, The more that is communicated to the various parts of your mind that haven't bought him.

You know, their response is gonna be right this is not such a bad thing. Yeah. So that's that's where the sales itself really works. When you're having a good meditation when you're feeling pleasant sensation your body, peaceful us see your mind since the pleasure and happiness developing. Continue your meditation. But keep that awareness of those there. If... Yes. I see that. And and just be the ga fly, it it ought be that once we have seen such positive things. Why would you or have trouble again?

Well, and that... That's a very good question. It's a very interesting thing. Yep You know, if if if you go along with me and my description of the mine consists of all these different processes, sort of higher arranged and the conscious experience that we have really represents just this sort tip of the iceberg pretty i to speak. All the stuff that's down here below the level of consciousness. A lot of times, it does not have access. To those experiences, which is why you need to hold them in awareness because the more you hold them an awareness, the more the message gets through.

Oh, that that's really good. I got it. Got it. Yeah. The same think of consciousness as what you hold in consciousness is available to all those parts of the mind that they you don't consciously experience. And very often they're doing their own thing about paying attention do I happening in consciousness. But but they... That's when they have access. They have access when something is in consciousness longer it's in consciousness. And now the the more the more fully conscious you are of it. Then the more likely is that that that information is going to get incorporated into each other process.

So I I had something recently that was giving it some kind of percentages, like, that, you know, that this huge percentage was unconscious. Yes. Right. Do you have those kind of numbers or? Well yes. I'm anybody who presents those kinds numbers is the speculating and they speculating on okay. Some may on better grounds than others. But I would suggest that it's somewhere between ninety and ninety nine percent. Activity. Okay. And when the more you pay attention to the mine itself and what's going on there, and you see thoughts rise in your line fully formed.

And then you can engage in a dis train of thought, which is really not much different than say. You know, solving an arithmetic problem. Right? Mine follows certain drills and it comes say conclusion. But even in the process of thought, there's novel ideas that are appearing from nowhere, you know, as you think about a problem, you come up against an obstacle or something that you and then how do the subconscious recesses of your mind comes something that offers itself as possible resolution. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

But things keep coming like where they come from. I mean, it's not the case. If if you're paying attention was Right. You're not creating. They're coming from somewhere else. The thoughts so you have in meditation and that like Initially, they present themselves verbally. So a thought has taken place that is essentially unconscious and what's appeared in your consciousness is a verbal fertilization. So somebody else has spoken you. Right? And so you become aware of the content of the what? But then there's other times, you'll notice this when.

You can become aware of the thoughts. Without the verbal visualization. But nevertheless, all you're getting is a more or less hinge product or at least partly finished product of a subconscious process. And the same thing with conversions, If you if you are paying attention to your own illinois, when an emotion arises it's like. There comes. Now your mind then will associate that emotion with you typically will associate that in motion with of reply. But the arrival of the emotion it came from somewhere that was out of sight.

So, yeah. I all of this... All of it mental processing that's going on is the vast majority of is it's not accessible to consciousness. Your conscious awareness can't go in and and reveal it and expose it. But the other part of it is it tends to go on without necessarily knowing what's going on in in ai in the whole person. So the practice of mindful awareness, is what reveals what's happening to the whole person two two these unconscious processes. Need to use a simple example that you might be able to relay to his you develop a a habit visual way of responding to certain kinds of situations.

I For example, I i think I used this one as a child who got sent to the of Principal office, a lot money rich ohio. And so now you have this reaction as an adult. You have this reaction to authority figures. Or what is perceived as authority figures. And anything that might be perceived as something similar to what happened when you're a child you call the principal office will produce a certain kind of reaction you'll you'll be resent and and angry and so forth. So you hit the idea this is assistant great.

And so you'll go through your life. Every time a situation arises that resembles to some degree or another summons to the principal off the principles office. It will produce a similar emotional reaction and it will lead to behaviors that are the the flow out of that emotional reaction and to something degree out your past experiences and associations. This is... I think we all... Yeah. Everybody really too you have this kind of thing happening. And and your life. Now let's say that you had there was a misunderstanding between you and a dear friend.

And then dear friend calls you up and says. I need to talk to you and can you come over? And there's really no inherent similarity between this and being summoned to the principles office, but there's enough resemblance you might have the same your reaction. Emotionally you are ten years old and being summoned to the principal office. What's really happening is a friend who loves you and that you love wants to get clear and something and, you know, get get that out of the way. But instead you're reacting out of this whole stop.

Now most of the time, what happens when these things come up because we... Our attention is focused, we have an emotional reaction. So we focus our attention on the emotion. And then producing certain kinds of thoughts and we focus our attention on the fight. And I all tend to reinforce this old pattern. The subconscious program has already set things in motion. And so now it goes back to sleep. It doesn't pay any attention. To what happens next. And also, it didn't take in give you the context of what actually happened all that subconscious part of your mind picked up on was was oh, here we go again being being summoned.

And and so we have turned on the old programs and the emotions came up and everything else. If you practice mindful awareness, there will be more more of the context of what's going on, the real context of what's going on will be present and conscious awareness. And if you truly have mindfulness, instead of your attention being exclusively focused on the same old feelings and same old kinds of thoughts that those feelings you generate. Your attention will pick up on other things in the overall context.

The true nature of the person's this called you. The circumstances that let's say them calling you. The other feelings that you have about that person, which is totally different than what you had for you. Just great principle. Right. So this this is things that become a part of conscious awareness and become attended to. And they become available to this unconscious program. Before it goes back to sleep. And so it it basically communicates to it that hey, this is not the same situation that that this program is based on.

And it's not even happening to the same person because now you're in an adult person, and it's a completely different kind of relationship. And not only this is day. You care about and the thoughts that are rising they're more they defiant lashing out kinds of thoughts that you're ten year old self wished they could dare to say to the principal. And unrest restrained they're exactly the things that you would say to your dear friend. And make the whole situation much more much more just difficult.

But if you if you have mindful full awareness, then you you realize these things, you know, and they become... They become available to that that part of your mind has useful information that kind result in and reprogram. The more often that you have mindful awareness in a situation that triggers a particular program like that. And the more quickly and the more completely, that program is gonna be changed and produce a different kind of result. Yep. So you're saying there's no need for the memory of the incident with the principal to be brought to the surface that can stay where it is.

But it can be slowly dis. That's right Can be slowly and circumstances. But this is the other thing that might happen. But if this is something... If this... If this program is one that is having a lot of ramifications in your life. You might be sitting in meditation very silently someday. And an emotion comes up and you don't know where it comes from. And then memory of you as a child and it presents itself and it's an opportunity. That's right there is an opportunity for you to to be with the memory of that past situation and the emotions that they created and pain that you experience and so forth.

Not not reliving it, just acknowledging it. And in the process of in the process of that is so you're applying mindful awareness to it in in the process of observing it in meditation. And the same thing is going to happen is that there's an opportunity for the the behavioral patterns that are associated with that memory and with the emotions that elicit it to now become reconciled to the truth that is who you are and what you are now. And when that happens, you can let go of those things. So that's the kind of thing that I was suggesting.

Might be... There might be something like that. Wanting to come up in your mind when you feel lonely and desolate way. There's not no guarantee no certainty. But but that's the kind of hint that these things give themselves. Your mind get are quiet and and then emotions and memories reason, things like that start to come up. And they represent things that aren't aren't really resolved they are really accepted. They are really reconciled with the reality of who you are the world you live in. And the certain circumstances that are actually pertaining now in the present.

There is a version of this is going on all the time that you're practicing to same compliance for awareness. You know, that your the printer won't work. You have... You have... You have this thing that you have to print out know, you'll only got five minutes and computer walking. You feel it's annoying it's arising and If you had mindful awareness, then it creates choices. And you have the choice not to hold on to perpetuate that annoy. You can there can't arise the realization that if I don't let go of this, I'm gonna spoil my whole learning.

So thing. Right? And so You have the opportunity to let go of it. You'd have the opportunity to, you know, this is this is the clear comprehension. And you can say, this is what's happening. This is why it's happening, but it's not gonna produce the desirable result. And you can say, okay. This is a time for me to practice patients. So what's an alternative solution? Returning. Can I just put that? By more tone. Find more toner whatever. But the thing is remember my sample, or you didn't have time.

Do you don't have time to face it? We waited until you're already almost late on the way out the door to try to print it and sort. So the other thing that you can do, yeah. I mean, this there's There's all kinds of alternatives that you would not normally be aware of unless you have mindful awareness, but know, in this kind of situation, it can be as simple as just exact that, okay. Shit happens. I'm not gonna have to whatever. But You don't have to... You don't have to allow yourself to be thrown into a mental state of no answer.

I mean, what happens in real life? We're we're annoyed because the printer doesn't work. We have to leave anyway. We go out. And we start driving and then there's some slow and the lane the beside and it in lane front and big t beside and you know, you missed the light you're getting later by the minute, you know, but what happens over the next hour is that? You are very aware of all of the annoying things that happen in your environment. And every one of them that you're aware of and pay attention to reinforces the same.

Go deeper Deepgram and then by that diet tell friend Oh I had such a lousy day. You wouldn't. I know hey those same thing. I realize at some point that much one of the most stressful things to me is in peoples. Being and p, you know, so parent in print and you couldn't leave right the way or he has like. Wait because this person gonna go that way the try get the stove and way just moved right there... I mean, and she was in all its orange. Yeah. And so because the motion this idea of motion, you just wanna move you went.

Just it helped me a little bit not as much as I wish. But labeling it that way, just kinda... Most things landed in that bucket. Yeah. And and about that with that. The label for that bucket helps you to do is to to bring a kind of awareness to process fish. The the label becomes a condensed Yep. Summary. Part the situation whether the thing I was trying to do is important or not important, it doesn't seem the matter. Right just I was impede it. Yeah. And and these things are all... They're mental states.

You know, whether is a rage or whether it's annoy, or or whether it's joy. Doesn't matter. These are all mental states. They are in the sense that your mind goes into certain kind of configuration that pre dispose it to behave and a particular way. And no matter where you are, you are not going to attend to everything in your environment. There's going to be selective attention then what you attend to, you are going to react to in... There are variety of possible ways that you can react to these things and the variety of possible feelings that they can generate.

But events and our immediate reactions to them contribute to the development of mental states and then the mental states tend to reinforce themselves so that, you know, like in this example when if annoy arises, then you start noticing annoying delaying things and getting more more like. Mindful awareness. That allows you to interrupt that process. And Most of these are habits of mine. I mean, the things I talked about earlier could be regarded as habits too, but they're more complex deeply rooted.

You know, the word program seems to need if it better for them. But there's a billion of tablets. And the company no is a visual reaction. And if you keep reinforcing it, you become a more annoy person. Right? Every time mindful awareness allows you to hand up the process, then you don't... You're not reinforcing it and becoming a more notable person. Whenever mindful awareness and clear comprehension, allows you to make a shift and let go of that emotional reaction and to replace replace the the emotions and the thoughts and so forth with something more appropriate and more wholesome.

You're creating a new habit, which will eventually displace the old So you can cease to be an a notable person and become a patient even tempered person. Your temperament can't be modified. I wonder if people have had the experience of feeling that their life was absolutely perfect then absolutely everything they needed on the friends, if there was there no reason for any kind of annoy and and then feeling very even gru here and it is so perfect. Well, so that's. So everything's perfect. So you know, you could list yeah your whole life and how everything is there's nothing that you need or or that you don't have them that you want you don't have including good relationships anything else.

But somehow it's like it just makes you feel grumpy. What what what makes you trained that up? Well, because you're talking about states of mind, and I I had that state of mind. While, you know, last week, I think there's something. So I just decided I would write it write it all down so I could look at it. And then I couldn't find a good pen i with... I kept changing fence changing bend and then I was Arthritis. Why three. Good pins anymore, and I just i was started. You know, it's almost like you have everything that you want.

So you have to think of something then Anyway. When I finished with the whole thing, I took a walk and all a sudden I fell him love this first. But I I that state of mine would change. Yep. But but I had to to it seemed like writing just writing it all down. And then reading it all over and seeing how funny it was really. What to me what that... That's that's... I thank you appreciate. I like that's a great little answer. And to me what that says, the message of delivers is our states of mind are not the result of external circumstances.

They're the result of how our mind response to the external circumstances, and of course, that's in our past conditioning in both the media past and long term paths. So whoever the person this is arrived in this moment when this event happens. Is going to react to it in a particular way it's gonna produce some natural state. And that is... That's what the buddha called Karma. That Karma doesn't determine what happens to you. Karma determines it happens to in the sense of how you're nineteen. How you're going to perceive the situation how you like to react and respond to it?

Why made me feel grumpy in bump beer was because there was no reason. To feel dry. So I could discover any place. That's you worry just. Now. Alright? Sometimes there's like a narrow natural called field tobacco. Send synapse material or something. you know, your your low one sale told it or something it'll mean does it that you know, figure out to the group? Well I definitely figure answer it. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know how you would classify. I i I would put that in the category of things that happened to you mh.

And you still have you know, if if you accept the idea of causality and if you accept the idea that you basically have an influence on these things. Two different people may both experience low levels of serotonin they don't necessarily have to experience them and behave in response to them and the same way. As a matter of fact, you know, almost certainly guarantee that they wouldn't. How they're going to I mean, speaking neurological terms, how they're going to respond to low brain serotonin is gonna depend on all the other neurotransmitters and all of the other neural circuits in their brain.

That they arrived at that point with. So See that's. But... yeah. But it it it is classical and it's it's an example. Of something that can happen to you. Severe pain, for example, how you experience pain and how you react and respond to. Depends on on the person you are, but the pain arise. And You can't change the past. Because you... The person that's experiencing the pain is a result of what's already gone before. All hang that you can that you have control over is the person you you don't really have control, I should say enhancements influence.

The only thing that you can influence, is the person that you're going to be in the future. And the only way you can influence that is in this present moment. So it's how you reaction and respond to things now that's gonna determine the predisposition and tendencies to react and future how you trying to heal. So comes back to what I was saying before. If you have in the past, cultivated mindful awareness than the person to know The printer problem happens will be a person with mindful arrest. Because they have mindful awareness, they will have choices available to them that they wouldn't have had if they had arrived in that moment without mindful arrangements.

How how they utilize those choices. Is going to determine the person they are, the next time a similar situation comes up. You know, so if they you if they buy into the annoy, then the person they there in the future is gonna be more easily and annoyed. They like go of it, then the person that she's just gonna be no less easily and night. And if they have the wisdom, to make a shift and take a more positive attitude. They're going to be less prone to annoy the next time something like this happens on the future.

Matter Will wants... I might have the good fortune to meet her just that she was making a transition such as she described she had seized onto to Mindfulness mh. And it was, like, twenty minutes old to her. It was it was there. And she was... She was doing something like transporting a statue that was going to go be by a bunch of people. That was really really really important to her that should be somewhere on time And she's all rubbed out because the airlines had changed her flight. And and she's nail around kicking little ducks in the water.

Being very upset. And then she takes a look at the new ticket they've given her and it gets her there a couple of more hours early. And and she's like, wow, I guess i was really into struggle, because she was gonna make this hard whether it was or not. And then she caught herself in that moment, and I got to watch her go through that whole thing and I've thought It was a lesson to me. I've never forgotten it. It's just what you're talking. I've never before heard anyone say karma determines who it happens too.

That's really use. It's far our useful than the doctrine that says car what determines what happens to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's that's a good anecdote. Thank you for that. But you wanted to say something, To me? I had something kind of really relief so what you were talking about. There was a particular manner in which I responded to things and it's for my child and it was a defensive mechanism. And I've struggled with it for years trying to overcome it without success. When I started meditating and really getting serious with my meditation, When I jumped into witness and I could just look at it and not have to respond to it or react to.

What I suddenly realized was I heard teresa now. I never had to respond to it the same way again. And it was just an amazingly wonderful feeling to know. You have choices you can change this now. Yes. That is to degree to which we are awesome time driven by past conditioning or we become a self creating agency for our own change. That's That's why that's about... I'll point out to you. You know, we've I've talked about two different levels of the way mindfulness this trans can transform? Yep. And there is a third.

So I just point out the first of these where you're you're sort of dealing with incident by incident, you know, the example of the tendency to get a annoyed and your mindfulness helps you to deal with that. And actually, with the practice of mindfulness on this, you can lose that tendency to be easily annoyed fairly quickly. But if that was the only thing that was transforming you, it would take you a number of lifetimes to deal with these tendencies that you have. I but then The things that tend to come up in meditation tend to be the sort of thing that they're not they're not that specific and isolated.

And and and with that degree of specificity and isolation? There's a huge number of. Right? The things that tend to come up in meditation and that's still the at mind, are the kinds of things that actually branch out and affect dozens or hundreds of different behavioral patterns. So when they... When you're able to resolve them when they come up in meditation, and you're able to just be with them and accept them, acknowledge them. Let them come up as often as they need to. Bring whatever emotions say come until you're basically finished with them, and then let them go.

They're gonna have huge ramifications they're gonna put they're are going to create much much broader changes in and you as Krishna. But there is that the third way that mindful awareness transforms us. And that is the the insight that overcomes hit that fundamental internet belief that we are the kind of set itself. We think we are living in a world of self existent objects that are the way they appear to us to be. And that our happiness can be obtained through grasping onto to them. A suffering can be avoided by by destroying them or waiting now.

Because that ignorance is really at the root of all or on hold behaviors. And all of our suffering. And so the third level at which mindful awareness works, which is the really global level. Makes greatest transformation. And you can sort of avoid going through all of the other stuff if you get you know, if you get to to that point, or let's put it this way. You don't have to work all the other this stuff. Individually. To get to that point. And when you get to that point having that the insight, you know, ob b that ignorance that has been driving everything and everything gets better.

You'll still have habits but they'll stand out and start relief against the the background out of your understanding. Of the way things really are. And so you you can deal with those habits far more effectively on more quickly. So these these are the three levels that mindful awareness. Works fine. Fit transformers us make you into a different kind of person. First of all, making into it. A easier to get along with better nature person who has better relationships and, you know, functions better in the world.

Second lady to become hey just basically a much better person who's not so vulnerable to and so driven by your past past experiences, psychological trauma, things like that, but ultimately become an Our and I had wake being. My awareness results and transformation. Global the global moment. I'm sorry. It it it's kinda gotten tick. About third view. Mh. Past of Avoidance and and and gas spring best. The insight that overcomes is fundamental. That it's fundamentally good. Yeah. To understand that's what's being explained, you know, in the basic doctrines of the four noble trees.

And Wholesome and Behaviors, and then what are the roots of been? And what is the root of suffering? K. So this this realization this third nothing. Because this one of many possible realizations or sequential real estate. Realizations, or is this the ultimate realization to that ends all real sense? Oh it's a realization code and ultimate true, which is the truth that eliminates the ignorance that has been the source of the problem. In terms of in terms of transforming ourselves. Right Then it's sort of the it's the next to ultimate realization.

Because when you... When you realize these truths, family realize and ten, you're no longer attached to the view of yourself. As as a person and the reality the way it appears to you. But you still have a ways to go. You still have the innate compulsions to desire inversion and you still have You still experience yourself. Not as in as an ego cell. But still has a separate entity. Is still a division of the world and myself another. So the realization of these insights, when when it brings you to a level of understanding that we talked about, that's the level of the stream.

The screen manager has overcome attachment to personal self view. And those that it's not true. But they still experience themselves as separate. And... There's a really beautiful sutra where there is a a non return person on a third path describing to another beacon that how although I know it's not true, I still have the experience a being a separate cell. I knee in mine still arises in the my, But as a non return, he's he's over overcome the compulsions of desire and inversion is no longer subject to creating and sense.

He's... He has overcome the ignorance and acquired not wisdom to be there, but there's still this rem. And when... So then the the ultimate transformation is the realization not not realization in terms of understanding or aha, but realization in the sense of of the enter making real of the cessation of the experience of separate nuts. Yeah. And the person becomes an our heart buddha. So that's the ultimate realization there. So we have we have the stream entry which quite nice all the difference in the world, but to still work it to be done.

And between between the chain, and the buddha. What happens. And I think he already know this is first the overcoming of the compulsions of the desire and version. Which arise out of the the view the separation of self i. And then you come to this final stage overcoming the the illusion that you are separate. Described the the character the ventures that and our hot overcome. Or the on described it as can see. That I can see of believing that you are better or worse or the same as someone else. Now as you think about what is the alternative to being better car worse or the same as on my health.

Just me. Fine? Just different. That's. It's it's not being different not being separate. Right. Neither better nor the same as. Yeah you're not separate. You're not different. Even to be the same. There has to be two of us we both the same. You're side's feeling going on the site and it... Yeah. And associated with is these the violent craving for existence and fine material and immaterial realms and i mean, the traditional description of the five feathers, but the essence of what it comes down to is overcoming the inherent sense of cell.

You know, you know that this is... You had direct experiences. You've been able to use those direct experiences to transform your behavior your attitudes, your previous predisposition to suffering, you have you have no fear of of death. You have, you know, you're you're totally transformed But you still have this inherent sense of being a separate self. That's that's the last thing needs to be overcome, and that's the that's the final representation. In the Story about magician tumors for that? About.

The the example is a magician. And when people back in I don't remember that well and I said know. I You remember well not too Refresh. I remember yeah yeah. So today, Was standing into, enjoying the humming birds and all the little and all these things and then And I'm I'm trying it on. I'm trying it on for size. How about none of us is separate? How about we're all on... Underneath this this super appearance of self and other there is some other level where we're all some life together. And then the wasp showed up And I just kinda there goes the neighborhood.

And You have to know that I've had the world's worst pho for wasp. And I considered it a fair amount of progress that all I had to do was say, okay. For this weekend we're doing this no kill thing. That means you don't kill me either, and I got up and left. And I'm perfectly willing to honor that live let live thing if they... If they're on board too. And and they're gonna die if they sting me. So... But it it it was, it was really big when you... Like those big ones say the chance one. Those those...

You could settle this one. We know have. Those are i those are our last yeah. Aggressive. Well, it I was still. Was that big one. And I'm i'm really... The there's this... So there's this... I'm all on board, but it seems to be requiring these baby steps of having this thought of... Let's all be in this together. And then presto change your version flies in and says, you didn't think me did you. That that... That's right. No he's... You know, you start where you are and because some of these things, you you just have to leave them aside till you get to the point where they make more sense.

So so eventually, the the the wasp gonna not be all that scary. That's true. Mh. It is. Which doesn't mean that that under certain circumstances you'll you won't have the common sense to avoid doing something make cause you to be son. You want you scared? Oh I'll let you know. Here and a version, are not necessary. Because we have other... We have other mental capacity because some very primitive binds have to rely on fear and inversion to survive because they don't have the other faculties. And when fever arises, the rest of the mind goes out like a white.

That's. We revert being one of those premature. One friend. She's uses afternoon for fear. She calls it false evidence superior real? Well, it Uses that, but it comes from. Teacher false, evidence appearing real operative. This nifty I like that. It's stolen. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, while while you're still subject to fear in a version, then you you can't pretend to be somebody that's not. It's still going to arise but you can work towards becoming a person in this month. And it shouldn't add to your suffering I mean if you suffer because you're not far or enough alone, where it makes sense that.

Yeah, Separate, you know, so you still think you're separate. Mh. You shouldn't add your yourself missing geez. If I only thought I wasn't separate. I wouldn't have... Man. That's right. You know what I mean, if you're not there, not there. Right. That's exactly what I went through. Thank you. Yes I said there went up. They I was just catching on and then you showed up. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just be here there. Wash now. Okay.

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