TCMC 17 March 2011
TCMC 17 March 2011 Part I – Q & A is first audio below
TCMC 17 March 2011 Part II is the second audio below
I do have question. I we have talked about this before but I'm not very clear. You stress the names of the time. And you said at one point, the number be sick and we'll stopped I'm going to stop comes up. And I have a feeling when I think all this stuff to the beginning. And longer, I sit, especially hill in indian streets, I use up. So is that is an visual it said you say... That I have dig deep enough or You know if it's not unusual. If I if I said no longer you said the more stuff comes up i may not have been making myself.
And you acquire the ability you set for longer periods of time, then can't those longer sets, you'll you reach a much keeper stayed calm number please. And at that point. Deeper unconscious content of your line can. Part real. So but If it's really not so much a function. Have direct function how long you're sitting is a function of how how settled your mind has become. And and how and how well you're able to stay to sustain, are a really bright state of mindful awareness. And in complex. Now that tends to be a function of how long you usually set and how i'm got right.
So i can you do a retreat where you're sitting, you know, ten hours a day. You're wanting to to some really deep places after Two day. Right? Yeah throughout the rest of street. And if you if you develop a habit of say example sitting for for an hour at the time you do that twice and day. Then the the asking to take you to these deeper vice. But just sitting on today, you did yesterday you're you're going to go through basically the main stages and if you're not used the city longer. You know, you we have an inter clock and taps when finished and you're going to tend to start to have a certain restless kinda.
Not all of. So it's really wonderful and the times said that the times you should look for is when if the out of your tire goes off or whatever it is. And you're again, you're in a really good place and you wanna stay with that. You wanna keep going. Yes. I've good answer. So. Anybody else have any thoughts on the same such of duration of the city and not that house. How you probably told you this before. But my background where that? We've just never sat for less an hour. And there are other there other approaches to practice arbitration and well shorter periods of, I think.
Probably the standard zip is about half an hour. I that. Their early teachers how wall food has said for twenty four minutes. Different things like that. I think that you you should work with your mind and seeing how responds to that. But if you're going to do shorter sets to more And between those shortest, you know, especially if you're doing something like a twenty minute or a half hour. So try to sustain as much my full awareness as you can between one and i. Well, try to do that on that. You know, but it's particularly for do sure so And if important thing is too.
Adapt yourself to the longer said. So you you make it possible for these more special sorts of things. Happened. How can you prevent to or Yes. And a another of reading pull long. And I think it particularly. The personal books way what have to say about the the three steps. So of very deeply understanding the personal and all truth. And I hope I'll ask him this question when he comes before too months pivot. I find rather most challenging basically to be they burst a very strong emotion. Being mindful and seeing, you know, see what's happening i seeing that this just a part of every everyday kind of events and fuck.
So... But but how actually deal with? Well... That instantaneously. I can't just like... Oh, I see what's happening stop. But is it no prescribed kind of what you sort of unwinding that A your talking government, you've suddenly experienced a really strong surge emotion. Yeah. Well, something happens. Know and then there's a strong search of motion. Which is... I'm going to say this disabled and now I don't need limit with the same one. But it it's it so you very distracted. Yeah. They're very disrupt.
And how would to... What's the best approach to dealing with that. Well, what... What? I think his best approach. Is first of all, try to retain this much mindfulness as you with can and face there. And one of the most important things to remember to do is to not identify with the emotion. That will... That's going to give you That's gonna give you more space more opportunity to to be mindful and to regulate your where it's moderate your words and behavior things like happened. One of the when motion when a motion comes out that always comes up it wants to kind of been warren, that it is defining here.
Identifying here. And and that identification is of course, is linked to a lot of other things. There's, you know, gives some really strong groups. And so the best thing that you can try to keep in mind is, you know, even if it's just that that I most superficial cognitive weather level that... Well, I know that that I am not morning. This is this is science. That's. The second thing I think that is most important for. That to whatever degree that you are capable one that you're able to moderate your actual actions and your speech.
That's really important Because that's that's the only reason that these promotions are fun. Right? Might it's students say things that you regret actors or they create other problems after, in this particular case, it was it was extreme annoying. It's not at anybody, but it's something that happened. And so it wasn't it never evolved into anything that went towards anybody else any words or expression but just my own, you know, I just like, there's there is i. I am so annoyed. Sorry. Yeah. So...
And that's what I'm saying is trying to get that place or instead of I am so Nobody I Yeah. Wow this really strong emotion of not arising. You know, lot with that is this sort of but... Well, I wonder what this is coming from. Because when you become conscious of an an ocean at wall and emotion moves into consciousness you i'm very rare. But it's come from it's come from the unconscious part of your mind. When it comes up like that this is an opportunity for you to to observe and maybe see where where roots are where it's coming from.
And so you, you know, you want to take your advantage of in in that sense. Considering that we go through our lives, reacting automatically out of feelings and inclination. And and strongly you're talking about one thing, but it's all the subtle ones that are happening all the time. That are you know, basically running our lives. And those aren't those aren't accessible to consciousness normally. But every time they manifest it it creates an opening and this is where awareness is important. Because if you remain mindful, if if you're if all of your conscious aware spoken see on the on the emotion itself for the circumstances that triggered in or, you know, like if you become focus you've lost the opportunity to see the author operators is county found.
So That's anything that you can do to remain mindful aware this is sort of step beyond. Simply moderating your actions or not angry or saying something again. Perfect. Now when you have a really strong feeling of the motion, why they are millions, one of the things that you can realize is that if you this continues, it can spoil your whole day. Right? No. I actually did pretty well with it. And that just been reading so office I I had... I have the mindfulness for almost immediately that okay. It's like oh this is happen what...
Yeah. Depends. I could sort of separate from it and not. Right. Yeah it's very separate. Then you can start, you know, you wanna get to? I ideally, you wanna get the place where you can let go of it and when you back over the way. Sometimes you try it record over bit. Just sure. But but that's the way that you work for that. Now seven times, not all the time, but sometimes there's an opportunity. Like, for example, if you're being annoyed way person because of something that the idea. You can't you can't see if you can look beyond your judgment in your reaction.
And find the place where if you see what the person did from the perspective project compassion patients and understanding. You know, especially if you can see it, oh, yeah. I I've got things like that. Oh, I know the time thought processes or or feelings it might be behind it or you know whatever whatever? But if you start to... If you can't re rearrange yourself to the pre precipitation event run a more wholesome point if you that too. I would say even you say that it's something that happened whatever is that happened.
It's still giving you a lot of things to work. But. If why are you reacting to the things way anymore? What attachments do you have? Yeah. First one of the attachments is your idea of how things should be. Just should in there. Right? So problem And so, you know, if you could just bring that lines and say all. Am so attached the line idea or think should be. Look at what I'm doing in myself, but i said, does this make any sense? It just some of that. Yes. Not. But it just was... I mean, it I just wondered if there was like, it's a good to sit down and meditate and try to do try to come breathing or vivid.
You know, go bicycle simple order If you if you have the opportunity to if you have the opportunity to sit down and and be mindful of it. Sit gotta do term to. Thanks to the running. It face the face you I gonna previously stressed and friday it serve it. Okay. Maybe we already just can accept it. I go it like you said they'll face face with. That's a really good thing to do. Sometimes other kind of activity If you got a really strong feeling of nuance can you for bike. The know isn't gonna grow it's gonna be there.
And you can be mindful of it. You can you can let the physical activity assist you in in just me just being aware of all the sorts of things that already spoke up do. These are all all good approaches. The worst thing to do is to try to suppress it right way. Because you you will you'll gain absolutely i from. Considering that all of us are you know, we are the product... All of our past experiences and all of our apps conditioning. And most of there, you know, I... At least nine percent, Maybe ninety nine percent.
Most of that's have of sight. We don't can't even see an operating obviously see is the result of. Mh And when when things kind of, they're presenting an opportunity, you know, out of the closet for a little while. Gives you a chance to see. And it works both ways is this... If you If when these things come up, it provides a certain access consciousness to these processes. The other side of this is that if you're practicing mindful for awareness, then the your consciousness of the inappropriate of reaction for example, or the discomfort satisfactory as of the emotional state.
Or the unfortunate quality of the consequences of what you might said and if these are all part of your awareness they are also going into those otherwise unconscious processes and makes it possible for them to be came to the account modify. So the things, you know, with something really strong has that the the very first thing is domino identify it with, I think. And then second thing, is to... Well, yeah. The it's still the second thing that is really really important is if you can, you know, moderate the things that you'll say into do response it.
And then or third time is just to try to be as as mindful as you can with it. In any of different ways that we talked about whether the certain sets per. Relevant Yeah. This is a related question. But you have thursday monitoring and that you're able to intellectually separate yourself from, but you're still extremely aware of the physical responses. So you're trying... I I tried to kind of see a witness to that. Mh. But there is a certain sense that comes up with I guess, of breaking up a. You could say, like, listening cells that can leave me to suddenly feel scares.
Mh. I I know if that makes anything, but i which for some reason has kind of spell me back into the emotion. Does that make any sense? We put it. Well why we do what if we just said sometimes when you're doing there? Sometimes when you're doing that you're when you're creating sort of an objective space between yourself and your emotions. It can trigger or a reaction some party that doesn't necessarily out there. You're you're interpreting it as being to sensor the loss of ego and that may be true...
And if it is that's very good positive thing. Right. That's great. Yeah. Guys. We we we do have a lot of identity invested. Yeah. These trades that emotional conditioning. That right. You know, we often refer to them as personality characteristics and we'll say here our our ourselves. That's just the way I am and things like that. And this is this is reflective of how much or identity is is written on sense. And so you know, when you're starting to to so those roots if you're doing an effective right, and it can produce that's sort of unsettling.
Pure reaction. Maybe didn't have mixing some things up the because I'm thinking of starting like you said he's come with break. Relationships and or other painful processing and those family relationships do where you can feel very hurt. And then you and will realize all this has to do with money... I guess i south. Whatever or not and things personally and how get home. You're ego, basically, and you can separate yourself in that, but there's still of a certain identification with and the connections and other people that I think I kinda get lost in that somehow and start to feel kind, like I'm just innovating.
And that makes anything sense. Like somehow losing a relationship or can make do you feel kind of like, losing software really, You know, intellectually... I know better than that. But, you know, physically, no Matter how much you're telling but this is not about me mh. This this there's no way, you know, the emotional and physical the reactions. Still feel like that. Kind and we are scary sensation. But using think the example of when relationships right breakdown. That's weird good because we have a false connection with somebody they they are a part of our...
I I of identity. And when we lose that. Then you know, and and the first time or two or three, it happens sometimes more than that. There's the feeling that but you're you're losing something it can't ever be replaced and you know, nothing's it's ever going to be as good again. And usually, in our relationships, part of the plumb that we make is that the other person affirm of us. You know, it gives us that reinforcement that, you know, I am this kind of person I'm valuable and I'm good. And and they reflect back at me these characteristics, which I consider to be really important.
So so there is a lot being lost their in relationships. And Yeah. I our minds can't... You. Generate all these worst case scenarios You know, my life whatever is good, You know, never, never that. Task on forever so long and so forth chris after has happened a few times. We're in at other place doing. Well about that's not really the trader. We'll get over this. And Probably look back and say i'm better off right now feels the feeling is still exactly listening name. But, yeah, there's so much...
There is some i involved and now. And I think they're really good thing that comes from those kinds of experiences. If you can remember that, you know, you are not these things that you think you are and those situations really put it in your face that whole yes. These are the things that I explained to that I can't by. And these are exactly things that I need to be a aware of so I can by lose attachment. I ideally, I don't know we don't kind. Totally self sufficient beings and all of our relationships with coming entirely from facebook.
Well been doing and there would be these kinds of emotional dependencies.