The Mind Illuminated archive

Stronghold 19 December 2010





Automated transcription

So welcome. Because those you. A top end here before. Good to have you. And what we usually do before would dig begin sitting is have a a little session of question and answers or discussion, whatever anyone happens to have on in your mind. Whatever are we have on our collective mike? So I will invite anyone who has anything to say, but please do so. I'd like to hear some Buddhist pre sexuality on sexuality. Yes. Else Well, there's some they... The basis for all of the buddhist pre shop is to avoid doing anything that causes pain are suffering to other beings or to ourselves.

Because we're trying to we're trying to purify our own minds and arrive at state of the awakening. So we have to include not doing those things that are harmful to ourselves as part of the p stub. So Our non non harming is basically sums up all over the preset. When we look at sexual sexuality. Well, first of all, it's speaking of pre in general. The presets are not they're not a acc behavior. They're not a set of rules to be followed, they are a set of practices, guidelines, for examining your behavior, your intentions, and the things are say you place in your mind.

So they're intended to be used as a tool. They're not at all, like, a set of commandments thou shalt do this and not do that. And i'm not based in a set of ideas that this is moral and that's immoral. So when we look at the preset to do with sexuality. We don't find we don't find quite the same approach to that you might find in some other religions. The idea is that our sexuality is is very powerful and it has an enormous impact So it can be used in ways that are beneficial and or harmful. And so The guideline is basically not to do not to use your sexuality in any way, that is going to be harmful for any other person or for yourself.

So I think most of the basis of that should be pretty obvious, but of course the practice is what makes us a package rather than a rule rule to follow is examining your actions and examining your intentions continuously over and over again. To to see why am I doing or saying a thinking this. And what are the effects that is having her potentially has on other people. So simple obvious things like and our culture the idea that adultery is bad. Well, And of course, sometimes that's defined as having sex with somebody you're not formally married to.

And buddhism that's not consideration, but if somebody's in a committed relationship with somebody else. Or even in a relationship that has not been even formalized to that degree and you know that engaging in sexual activity is going to cause unnecessary suffering and harm to someone else. Then you you definitely have to examine that in light of the pre. Right? There's all kinds and of course that preclude any sort of abusive or exploit factual activity or c of sexual activity. They you're a little deeper than you even as engaging in sexual activity is not necessarily going to be making somebody else suffered or happy.

You have to examine your own motives and what effect it's going to have on you. Is your sexual activity, reinforcing the tendency to lust and is it Is it going to make you more more prone, more susceptible to lust full behaviors in the future. And that's a kind of a subtle thing. Right? So... And it doesn't... It doesn't you know, rise to a clear gut set of rules as well. In this situation you do this and in that situation you don't or something like that. It just means that okay. What's going on inside of me in my mind that is at the basis of the activity that I'm moved about to engage.

And what what is this impact going to be on my mind in the future? How is it going to shape? Who and what i am future. Now has a practice? Avoiding sexual conduct that's harmful to yourself and others. Can deep expand in another way, which is that our sexual relationships are merely one kind of interpersonal reaction we have interpersonal interaction that we have. And I'll just point out something that has been discovered in the more modern studies of anthropology and psychology and so forth, We are rather unique amongst the animals who live on this planet.

In the type of social interaction and social dependency we have on others. Right? And it seems that that came about through certain changes. It takes so long for human children to mature that really, it it takes more than a mother to raise child. It takes... you know, it takes at least a couple. In fact, it takes a village series raise a child that somebody pointed out a few years ago ago. And so our sexuality itself when we underwent those chain under... Yeah. When we one underwent changes in our evolution, so that children were born so helpless into to, you know, fifteen years or i reach a point where they could have, you know, very good likelihood of surviving on their own.

And this required so much long term relationship and long term interaction. It had profound changes in many other ways. In order to create that bond instead of being like, most mammals where we have a mating season in the rest of the time, we're not very stayed in insects. Females develop the hidden est. And so we're essentially It's a year round mating season for humans. And males never know when the females are fertile and where when meeting is going to produce a child. So therefore, sexual sexuality has become the glue.

That holds us together and out of sexuality out of the changes in our mental processes that came from this We have this whole densely interconnected fabric of of our our social relationships and social group. And so forth. So that's a little bit of a digress into to modern psychology gene anthropology, but it brings us back to the fact that we realize that that our sexuality is only one particular manifestation of our interactions and others. What that is. And it's not only our sexual relationships that are potentially harmful, potentially abusive or c.

Or so forth. And so in actual fact, the keeping of the preset involves sexuality As you practice it begins to take on the flavor of a pre that applies to all of your interactions with other people. And are they wholesome or are they not? What fact are they having on other people and likewise, what effect? Are they having? On our own minds stream. So these presets would apply in various practices that people are practicing now is such as cell. Mh. So or individual self expression or self love sexuality, or heterosexual or almost sexuality and and poly relationships.

Mh. All shared relationships and pharma. Expressing sexuality if it's a positive expression. That's right. Yes. And and Buddhism there isn't really inherently any judgment of the the kind of relationships steps like different manifestations that you mentioned. It's all it's all based on an examination of what their impact is whole. In our culture now, there's... Are a focus on Tan. Time that has come from Buddhist teachings or Eastern teachings and then this culture my little understanding of it there's a focus around the intimacy or sexuality of connecting relationship with the divine.

Now are a pathway to enlightenment through divine or sacred sexuality. Yep. And you you can see that the the basic attitude of buddhism and church sexuality makes that completely possible, but it's absolutely nothing about it. But the same principles apply if there is anything at all in the least exploited or s of or conducive to the intensity in. Of lust desire or for that matter of anger and resentment or anything else. Then it's on Wholesome. And then there's no way that you can you can engage in a a sexual act can't if it is on hold, justify it by calling it patrick.

Because Buddhism is permits any sort of pulse sexual behavior, but warns against any sort of un sexual behavior no matter what other purposes we attach to at for no matter, you know, what other form takes. So is that? Does that more i suggest what you have on your mind? Or... Yes. Just hearing speaking about and other buddhist circles, there's been that I've been them there spent some reluctance to be talk about or there's been some judgment. Around sexuality. Mh. And it's an object of who we all are whether we are sell that or how we may practice it or how it may change in our lives.

So I have a curiosity about what that is and and health is. Well, if we take as a starting point, the time of the buddha, and the thing is he hot down. Buddhism state in many different directions from them. And it's departed in various ways from his original teachings. The buddha taught have to pass to both lead people and to beaches who took vow of cell. And this was basically a simplified lives enormously. And... But, you know, there was absolutely no implication in that that that you need it to be solid but in order to leave a spirit leave spiritual life.

Is just you know, if you stay entangled in the household life, sexual relationships, children, all these sorts of things. It divert an enormous amount of your time energy. Nope. That's quite obvious. So that was the advantage. Taking roads leaving homes. I'm becoming so but. There wasn't that sex is bad for you or anything else like that. But then, There was a monastic tradition established and okay. So you got all these monks living together and they're supposed to be ce. And so gradually, there were a lot of other things added in.

They weren't originally part of it. Masturbation. Almost sexuality all of these other things, because these were practical complications, not of the spiritual practice, but groups of human beings, living in closed quarters we weren't allowed to engage in normal sexual relationships. Right. Yeah. So all of those things developed. And then sort of simultaneous with this in northern India india, there was a attach tradition that developed that to use the energy of sexuality. And then just about the time that the Muslims came in and really destroyed buddhism in India, buddhism spread to other places and it became ama with some of this.

So the the ka tan tradition they became a part of buddhism into tibet. But that was a later addition. That was not something that came from the time of the buddha, but there's absolutely nothing about the buddhist tradition that said that you couldn't use. Sexual energy and sexual practices and, you know, the same way you could other practice. So when you look at different the forms of buddhism is taken in different country. You'll see that it's taking on a lot of different forms, collaborations, added rules and things like that that that They're not mutually exclusive.

Although when he within a particular society, they may have become an exclusive set of rules. And they may look upon what Lu and others society he do is me... Oh, well, that's all wrong. It shouldn't be coming there but. But that's really showing the perspective of that unique historical and and cultural form of Buddhism in it. That they're coming from. That's not from the essence of buddhism itself. Yeah. I I just wanted to come in a little bit about Tundra that in the tibetan tradition, it it's only for the people who meant to be only for people who are very well advanced, very, very well advanced and very very much understanding of of human nature and all of the things that happened to human beings and who have practiced announced that they have a great deal of self control, controlled their mind and they are in practicing to as using that very powerful sexual energy, not in the normal sexual way, but in in a way to to to work with dual.

And and you... And hopefully, reaching this state of unification. Of the mask on the feminine in the the opposite. Things So I I just happened, but I think what's so important is as you said, a lot of people having weekend, workshops were people who just wanna meet somebody and have a experience with that... Yeah. Not what con was ever meant or. Yes. That's that's very true. But buddhism doesn't exclude people having ordinary sex and ordinary organizational relationships. But. Tantra is really not about that, and it should never be used as an excuse to have sex.

They find any the excuse to have sex. Oh, yeah that's one thing human digs are really good at at. Absolutely anything and return in the needs to have outside. And it's a very short step for a justification to have sex even though it's on H and what of many different employees because just interaction. We are very good. Yeah. Good. Something you said in your initial explanation about sexuality and what's considered okay. What's not considered okay in the society. He said that Buddhism doesn't says that it's not okay to engage in sexual activity that's gonna cause on this siri Harm.

Yes. And this seems like it It's a way of talking about a lot of different things that we can do in life. I mean, you're you supporting yourself. I find it tricky. To know what's necessary and what's not necessary for another person. You know, if I engage in some activity with another person, whether it's sexual or not, And I know because I know this third person and I know where they are, that they're gonna feel pain because of my interaction with this person. Mh It's like I'm gonna I'm in a tricky situation because I don't wanna cause that person pain.

But what if my intentions with this person are completely wholesome, and I know that the the interaction that we have is for our mutual benefit and it didn't really holds some good way. It's like, I don't I can't take responsibility for other people's. Pain Mh. In in all my interactions in the world, but at the same time, I am like in so my response. Because I'm choosing to engage in this thing that I know it's gonna cause pain whenever. Mh you speak to that, what's the necessary. A Okay. It's all to do with your intentions and what's going on in your own mind and what you've just described is the kind of teaching session.

Situation but keeping pre puts us in over and over again. There are no simple answers. There are none at all. Okay. So you wanna have sex with this person, but it's going to hurt that person. Now send it turn in here and say, okay. Where's is my compassion towards this person? And where's is my desire... So what am I acting out of compassion? Or desire? You know? I mean, right away, you're now, when you start thinking in those terms, now the situation is starting to teach you something when you're thinking about well, you know, but my relationship with this person is wholesome, and they really shouldn't feel that way.

It's not my fault that they do. You haven't started learning anything yet. It's just that say, okay. Where's is my compassion? Okay. And what is my motivation? Right? Why do I wanna why do I want engaged sexual activity? With any person along this person. Dan starts to teach you. And then of course at that point, there are no simple answers because there's nobody that you can talk to but can that can guide you in this you have to look inside and you have to be you'd have to practice being honest with yourself.

And you're you're going to fail in the beginning. You're not going to be completely honest with yourself. And you're gonna go ahead and do something. And then there's two possibilities. Either you can continue to practice the mindfulness that's prescribed by the pre step and examine what you did and re examine your motives and then examined them in the light of what's happened since and continue to learn from it. In which case it will change how you evaluate things in the future or you'll do what we're more prone to do, which is to try to rationalize it out of our mind so that we don't give it another thought if we can avoid it.

Mean that that is what we normally do. Engaged an activity. There's a consequence, but we try to find the way that we can say... Well, And throw away, throw it out of our night. But to keep the preset means that you have to now re examine the whole tank Can you will make mistakes? You will... You will be dishonest with yourself. You will make errors and judgment and then you'll act out of errors judgment, which doesn't mean that you're a horrible bad creature, are they even from burning hell or anything else like that.

It means that if you know that, you've learned something. If you don't know that, if you don't recognize that, then you're still blindly stumbling through life and ignorance and you'll continue to cause harm through your. So those kinds of situations that particularly triangle perm creates all of our social sexual interactions. I mean, the the ideal thing is we're gonna meet somebody of the opposite sex that's totally involved with anybody else. And we are totally free of any leftover residue of our past involvement.

Right? This is the ideal. This is the dream, but it just doesn't happen that way. We go from relationship to relationship, and we haven't really quite finished up those other relationships. Prefer we entered into the new one so so this this this triangle of of me and you and then the other person it's always there. Or it's not always there. But it's there so much of the time. That... Yeah. To keep this pre up, you've got to think about that. And if you ignore that, if you're willing to say, oh, yeah Well, that's just the way it is.

Nothing I can do. It's not my fault. Then the preset is not dying any good. It's not. Is very limited and and what it can teach you. Does that The use necessary pain? What's necessary, what's unnecessary like... Unnecessary. Unavoidable. And also know that this thing that I'm moving forward with is for the good of all being as far as I can see, and and feel this person's pain as my own because I have such compassion. Mh. And that's a lot of pain to be. Well, Let's look at what the buddha said about another pre which is bright b.

And there was somebody from another set that wanted to trap the buddha. And that's already got somebody to go and ask him some questions. The idea was you say that you say not to speak falsely. And he'd also say speech should not harm somebody. Right? And so was trying to trap the buddha said would if something was true. But it would hurt somebody to know it. Would you tell them. Right? And the buddha of he answered it very beautifully. And i remember the sutra clearly, Enough said I'll I'll do it anywhere near justice, but he he worked through a series of of perm mutations of a basic question and what it comes down to.

He said, before I speak, it absolutely must be true. Okay. Secondly, it absolutely must be helpful. It must do something good. Useful and valuable. And if either one of those things are not true, then there may be total silence And then third you said it had to be the right time. That if and the timing is in reference to the potential harm. That... And it was more than the timing it's that he said at the right time, but then in his explanation, it's really skill means. It's done in such a way that the person that might be hurt by what is said, actually benefits from it, and the benefit is greater than the pain that's invoked by the speech.

So it has to be true, it has to be necessary useful valuable. Whichever word you wanna put to it. And then it has to be done skill with skill mains. I think you could apply the same thing there. It's okay. You're gonna have a relationship with somebody else, which in your mind is for the benefit of all beings. I'm not sure exactly how you conclude that. But anyway, you can see that. Okay. It's gonna be a good thing for me. It be a good thing for them and what we to have in mind to come out of this some good thing.

And doesn't matter whether it's the beautiful kids who are going have or whether it's going to be to the tax experiences that are gonna lead us to enlightenment doesn't matter. This is this is your imaginative projection. Okay. And then there's the other person. Well, you have to make sure that the action is Wholesome. And the same way in right speech, doesn't matter something's true. Are you saying it out of anger vin By? Well, obviously, then, you know, it's it's not true. So you have to like...

Is how much of this is my... How much how much of my good of all beings is my own lust or my own desire to be and I a comfortable stable relationship because I'm a kind of person needs to have a partner in my life or and so on and so on. We have all this other stuff. So you gotta look at all that stuff. Okay. And that's the... That's is it wholesome or not. Yeah. And and And and is it is it necessary? Is it useful? Is it carrying the next step beyond? Or am I just getting in a relationship and six months from now or seven years now I'm gonna be hurting miserable when we split up and they're gonna be hurt miserable and if we have any kids they're gonna be with our parents, you know, You gotta take all that stuff into account because that's all part of reality.

And then is the timing, and then is how you do it. To what degree, do you disregard the the person's involvement? What role is sign play? If they were involved and the other person or they were involved with you, We have this tendency rush to in relationship. Maybe if this new relationship is really for the benefit of all being, it can it can go on hold for six months and allow this other person to heal. You know? So, I mean, these are just for examples in what desk. Every single situation is completely unique.

And there's another principle on this too, which is that we can do things that to other people that produce pain in one sort one way or another. But they are the author of their own suffering. Okay? Now this is not a justification for, you know, it's not my fault if you make yourself miserable. You really shouldn't. There's no reason you have no right to. That's where the compassion comes yeah. Okay. If you can see that if you do something, it's going to cause this as a result of this person is going to create a lot of suffering for themselves.

Skill means is how can you help them either to avoid doing that or to learn something and grow positively. As a result of Dana. That's being skill. And you see potentially all of these things have more to teach you and will allow you to do more good for others. Than diving right into what we're gonna do this for the benefit of all things. It's a learning situation. There's so much to be learned from it. And and don't don't put the onus on yourself to get it absolutely right. Just to do the absolute vest job you can.

Examining your own mind and being fully mindful of all of your words and all of your actions and all of your thoughts. Like, just contemplating this kind of situation, you can see the advantages of taking robes and names all of it. It's no under that that was offered as a simple solution. What it but also is good. I'll just add one more thing thing as as Ge Do said when we talked about, you know, with the the monastic path versus the late path Ge Said, well, the lay path is is much more powerful.

It has much more et easier. Dealing with these situations. Will if you do it right, teach you more than being ce and never had confront them. So that's the other part of it. So what I hear you say is really taking responsibility. And I hear you say about questioning and self inquiry and keep looking at that. That place. Some language I have a problem with is this word around fall because it sounds like it makes somebody else a victim, Oh this is my fault, and I've done something wrong. So I'm a bad person.

And the person that I reacted to, now they are a victim because Mo Say did this thing to me. Mh. Well, that's... Yes. That's that other... Or that takes us to a whole now they're part of it, which is to what whatever degree that we have we carry around sensor personal ina doubt about our own self and our own value guilt about other things. We can inflict a lot of guilt on ourselves for what happens to other people. And they can use that. To been in a relationship with him, they know you've got that button and they know how to push it.

You did this too me you responsible for all of my suffering. But that that's two other whole different aspects, but they're very much a part of it. So they're they're were addressing. Yes. You have this great degree of responsibility. And a part of that responsibility, you know, being really honest with yourself and really understanding Your motives also means really understanding what is behind you feeling guilty about somebody else's suffering. Where is that come from? You know, what causes that to make sense in your mind?

And is it built on true premises or some false premises that you adopt along the way? That make you prone to. Punishing yourself or Well, basically punishing yourself, because that's what feeling guilty is. Machine stuff. Because that's another thing that you can uncover. You you can look and you can be honest and say about what your what your role is. And somebody else's that you is somebody else decipher. But you understand that they make their own suffering, then you can remove that, oh, I'm responsible for the way he feels.

And instead, say, I'm responsible for what I did, and I'm responsible for why I did it. And it did interact with his current free predisposition to suffer, but I'm not responsible for his permit predisposition to suffer. I am responsible for what I did and why I did it. And that that's that gets us away from the guilt part... If if we get stuck in the guilt, the more he suffers the more plane, unless he suffers the left sound like, And that that's a nonsense equation. You are one hundred percent responsible for what you did and why you did it.

And he's one hundred percent the owner of his karma that caused him to suffer either at a greater degree or a lesser degree. And if you keep that clear, it'll help a lot in sorting it out. And the other side of it too. I mean, making somebody else feel... You know, we this came out the other night and I had talking. Two tucson. Somebody was... Somebody mentioned a song. Do you remember oh cra river? Yeah. Yeah. Crime your and brought the fact there's so many of these the broken hearted at Love song.

That they're all about What look what you did to me. Just after everything else you did to me. Why don't you just rip my heart out and stuff at it? But you know, these are really hold ways that we have blaming other people for what's going on in our own mind. And especially trying to make other people feel bad. You know, trying to punish other people for early people. And this is something that, you know, when two people split up, it hurts and one of the natural responses is to want to hurt them back.

And if they're the one that said I'm leaving, then you can hurt them if if they've got a guilt back and you can hurt them by stopping on their guilt button as strong as you can in as many ways as you can... I mean, the the most extreme for form of that is is only broke my heart said myself the death. As well will be her fault and rest your life feel. You'll feel so bad because what you did to me. So so... Yeah. That's more of what happened human relationships scripts are still fraught with these things you wonder why people ever get involved on them.

Again it gives you a lot of opportunity for mindfulness and developing wisdom maybe you can manage to navigate your way through the all. That's good interesting discussion. Does everybody else have anything to favor? I wanted to hear you talk about learning i what that really means. I mean, it seems like so simple. Right. Loving kindness. Yeah. Mh you know sense. And that it so simple. It it's such a a a large topic Matt, i interject? Yes. I was I was seeing in myself kind of like, a a little bit of confusion because when when I do feel open to others, it's kind of, like, there's this balance of like, who everyone is.

And then I would say, like, you know, been a relationship, maybe, like, I kind of I kind of lose that attention of everyone and sign and kind of, like, close up as I like, look to another person. Mh. So maybe there might be a helpful way to kind of open up to loving kindness by looking at everyone. That is that is a very good thing. Yes. Both of the things that you say are are really true. The the first line is really true that on... It's severely our ability to feel the one with everyone else. And to feel a lot of genuine love compassion brothers when we are very much involved and a single partner.

It just it has that effect. Course, when you're first and love, you love everybody and everything. But that's that's an emotional euphoria. But then get where saw. Loving kindness loving the the the word love, we use it in some many ways, And the reason that we have translated the word meta into English, and two words, loving kindness is to distinguish it from that other kind of love. Which carries with it such a huge component of selfish nice. When I love you, it's because of all that you give me or that I think you're going to get me that I want you to get me.

Right And so well we loved each other? If you examine it carefully, there's a whole lot of that. It's more like a business transaction. I'll do this really you this. Yes for me. For so long as what you do from me is where the trouble takes for me to do it for you, and I don't find somebody else. It looks like they'll do a better job. Right But this this is that other kind of love. So we had kindness on it too. To to distinguish that there's a difference there. And as you grow spiritually in love, you begin, you recognize that you are not this separate entity that you think you are that needs to steer its way through the world, getting as much satisfaction and avoiding as much pain as possible.

That opens you up to loving everyone and anyone in a different way because now you start to see that you you you are now, they are you that you're all interconnected. And, you know that A one one relationship is a good opportunity to learn about real. But you only learned about life to the ability to degree that you're able to separate the loved part of it from the selfish desires and everything else that are part of. Yeah. Yeah. That that helps because I was... I was told that like kindness is kind of the fuel for the relationship.

And and it's it's like, it's just but it's at the same time it it's hard because there's that... There is that selfish, like, person it was still turning to grow. You know Yeah. So... But the kindness is there. It's initially the kindness is motivated by, you know, I love you because you're so beautiful and you make me feels go good and go this and so that. So I want to be kind to. I wanna make it happy. I wanna please you. Let me do this for you. Let me do that for you. But the two is just still tangled up together.

As a relationship matures. As it matures, you can grow beyond that, and then it starts to be Well, hi what, I'm I care about your happiness for your sake, not because of what you're doing for me. And I want to do this for you because of the kindness and the love, I feel and my heart for you, not not because, you know, it's part of our reciprocal arrangement that I have to sustain to get, but I want out of it. So you can learn. And of course, when when a relationship to the point, I think a critical point is when he realize that the other person isn't going to quite meet all of your expectations.

It isn't going to give you everything that you thought you need. This is a point where the relationship has the potential to mature it also is a point where it has potential to fall apart because one of the other you find somebody else it seems like they might meet the needs better. So that's a crucial point. Is at that point, you should start trying to really practice do the practice of exchanging oneself for another. Okay. We're close enough long enough we know each other well enough, that now, I'm gonna stop saying the cell.

And I'm gonna see you... I'm I'm gonna put myself in a yard space. And I'm gonna be concerned from your vantage point. And then through exchanging yourself for the other in a relationship that's matured to that point. Then you can do something really incredible really quite fabulous to. So if you do get in a relationship, look forward to when it's no longer as good as it arrives. That's when the opportunity. That's when the opportunity really presents itself. Does that address some of the things that you have in mind?

Yeah. I think so. I mean, the way the way I I imagined it material was just maybe like a a work ethic, like, working groups. And just, you know, really intentionally, like, offering like, the tool I needed. Mh. More it was at dinner our time, like, the the brand I was waiting for and that. Yeah. Was it was really sweet. Yeah. I'd like awesome to add. No. I... I the that the huge subject loving train and mh. Maybe another time we could I know the dal lam. Continually speaks about let me kindness and how important it seems to be the most important thing from all and it probably speaks to the to the preset, you know, mh two of not harming somebody, but the opposite side is more than not harming.

Anyone is is to do the see everyone as as you as you saying exchanging some others so you would do for them what you would do for yourself. Mh. When you're dividing up something, you know, it's in the big big deep of rolling good part for yourself. That's. That's right. Yes. It's And that is the the pre that is where... If you keep working with the pre. That's where eventually, they lead... The preset not to intentionally harm to others. As you keep working with that and refining it, eventually it'll become obvious that life itself presents so much suffering.

That the only way you can really keep that preset is through acts of loving kindness that help those around you to deal with the the pain and the suffering that has nothing to do with what you're doing, but just the fact that they live in this world and that they're not enlightened already. The pre not to take what's not freely given. Evolves from all the subtle forms of not stealing to not taking the last piece of cake and not taking the biggest half and things like that. To, eventually to the perfection of generosity to the giving making sure that somebody else gets the bigger hat or, you know, so on and so forth.

The evolution of the pre is into the perfection. As you keep working with? That's why They are tools. They such powerful tools. That we other. And never mistake them has a set of rules of conduct because that is, you know, That's like taking your brand new sports car and making it into a yard ornament. Not using it for what it was designed.

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