The Mind Illuminated archive

Awakening in Daily Life – Session 4 May 30 2010


Session 4, Day 1
Play the recording below.


Automated transcription

Okay. Is it is it clear what we do with this mindfulness succeed in practice right him? Is it clear what we do with this mindfulness if we succeed in having it? And what? Okay. You it on page ten. Let's just look together another one of he's teaching. Or two of these teachings here? No. As as a as a late person, a very important part of your life in your practice is all the other people that you. Are in contact with. It is so stable. And So there's a few quotes here that from the sutra that that bring that out, I think, carrie clearly.

Both And Asked Le buddha. For advice on how late should practice instructions lay. And he said they should go for refuge, keep the pre in addition to that. They should be actively engaged in the welfare of others. What do you think about? Generosity takes many different forms. Obviously is certainly one way of being engaged in the welfare of this. Alright. He can be generous with our time. Are can assist people in various ways, listen to their problems. Help them in ways if they need help you can be generous with muddy material objects.

Just many different ways to being generous. What other basic country line. Yes, neil. Compassion? Yes. It's pretty good to practice compassion. It benefits you and a course benefits those of your compassionate. And one thing about this world is certainly filled with enough suffering. Is no shortage of opportunities practice compassionate. And one of the price pre ups that we took this morning is to practice loving kite and con. So I think that one if I'm focused of consideration? Consideration. Yes.

I'm look there's thirty people of working and... I... It's a lot of that locked in and it's so there is a strange thing for by, you know, we been go the science where has direction for anybody. I'm really that selfish thing and it makes that have like everything got balance and upset So that's one that I can feel. I was aware of using within solution product space. For consideration. Compassion, generosity, all of these things are the opposite of selfish. And they they didn't have the advantage of helping you to get your say get out of yourself.

Sometimes do you feel like you really stuck inside yourself. I have experience. Yeah. Yeah. I will ask shirley the of patience. So before I told we've been we have page to helping people that's... But that's web level, but the other available is it's from on your that come the commission come you mind because i I have this experience just the recently i'm doing the spring and then during which and spring in house i find something. And then a title the boom to spray coming out, You know, You watch it.

I I do my apologies I watch it, but I can stop it. And it's end up I have to stop it, and I just go totally to my decision. I don't go to for city. And because the my tool... I mean, Is two. School to what. Not crime not account no Yeah. I been not turning enough to my just to watch the rest. Mh. So I tried to tool with the. And then I find out the real power the temperature live, you know, you wouldn't that when he the come up on the mine you all the others is. Impression is a locally lovely emotion to develop.

That's a feeling or whatever you wanna call it to develop. What I noticed going from another country is In America. People with one of rewards stuff so much all the time. I think they cuss have to reward and invite themselves yes because they're working too hard of it. They feel like they have their already, you know, it's like, they was rewarding themselves minded shelf things, you know, that kind of selfish just we just... I think it can work louder when you do that. You know, you report yourself when you don't didn't shouldn't didn't anything, you know?

Yes. I it doesn't seem like makes people any happier. Spend a lot of... Spend a lot of time trying to make themselves happy and not succeeding. So being concerned with a welfare of others, that is a really important thing to. And so would that include loan money of friends It's certainly like this. Yeah. It's certainly like You know, it's it's not an invitation to be foolish and went ready to people, you know yeah Yeah. Yeah. Going to waste the candle the throw the away or something like that. But definitely think if there's so many different forms they can take.

But it can really help you get out of being so trapped in yourself. It also has great ramifications you know, for society I think about In in this country right now. It's a very interesting thing that There is a resistance that people have to help them anybody else in anyway, anyone they see has being that the idea that something's going to be taken away from now and given to somebody else. They don't see that it's a form of generosity that you see this being. So some bad being done to them, you know, all we're gonna take...

We're going to to spend money on education. Like, it's really strange idea, you know, because, it does not education benefit everyone. But instead, I i think anybody who thinks about it recognizes that. But there's a kind of blindness that oh somebody's gonna take something away from me. I'm not gonna benefit. Yeah. I don't having any children the do i care about education or something like I'm not sure the attitudes, but There is this the state tendency that we keep getting to confronted where, really profound selfish resistance so that, you know, rather than being one one people, one group of humanity hopefully each other supporting each other we wanna divide ourselves up into all these separate factions and every faction looking for its own benefit and don't take anything away from me that's gonna benefit somebody that doesn't go belong to my group, or it's not my family or I don't have something steak at myself.

Yeah. you just this one. Patriotism and really terribly i the is paying reappear. You know, sort of a mindless list yeah. But the way it's it is a way that we expand our sense of of self through the larger identification, patriotism. But even within this country, you know, it's it's like It's a strange thing don't you think that takes is isn't interpreted as wanting what is best for everyone in my country eva. That's... you know, be... You either my political party or that other nasty political party or my race or my region of the country or my social economic group.

Or, you know, we're all divided up that we're against each other. So we haven't even got enough self identity coherent self identity via a hole as a country. So it's it's a strange thing. But, you know, I I think that part of the practice of of buddhism is to be concerned about the welfare of others. And therefore, in democratic country, There's all these choices to make, and you should you know, a person who is practicing this path needs to ask in terms of the things that they vote on and the and the people that they vote for and things like this.

Is this an expression of buddhist principles? Is this an expression of as as it says here for the Welfare and others. This is for the good is this for for the benefit? Is this an active generosity? Is is this expression of compassion? Or is this... Or or are these political views and ideas? Are they expressions of selfish, are the expressions of graft grasping and exclusivity and so forth. That's that's an important part of it, being a buddhist lake person too. You know? You you have to let everything you do, become a part of practicing, please practicing these virtue.

And may involve difficult charges for people. But if you're serious about it, you have to take that... Part. Yes. So I think it also highlights that. We have some power over on environment the amount of suffering around us. Yes like the choices we make that lives. That's right. We have... Yeah. We can For example, if you buy products that are manufactured by child labor or under exploit conditions, Are you really... Are you really keeping pre not finding? There's all kinds of choices you heard? If you live in such a way if you use products that contribute to the destruction of the environment or to to creating more pollution and things like that.

These all moral and ethical consequences that are part of your practice. What's really interesting though is if you are keeping the pre and if you're doing these practices, what they make you look at is your attachment and your selfish. Because the problem is that people don't like. As a matter of fact, issues are presented and such you right, that they have all kinds of justification, so the person can take a stand. That completely disguise the selfish of the sand. And you have to look beyond that.

You have to let inside yourself. And we... When you practice gem generosity, it's a way of overcoming your attachment to yourself. It's a way of overcoming your own greed and grass. When you practice patients, it's a way of overcoming your own versions and hatred and sense sep and things like that. So the reason that we practice these things is to is to become aware of this. You know, if if you when you practice generosity, you come aware of your attachment, which has you give away something that whether it's money or whether it's your time or anything else, you're giving away something that you hold to be precious.

I thought. And this causes you to confront selfish and grasp and yourself. This gives you an opportunity to lift at and examine it. Whenever it comes out. And and this is a very important thing to do. So... Yeah absolutely everything we do. Every interaction we have, the things that we support, the things that we don't support politically, the products we bought, the way we live, all the different aspects of our lifestyle, they're all reflections of these same kinds of choices. And as I said earlier today, the situation the world is in.

Is due to people being motivated by selfish and by greed and bio nature. And so it's a... You you are not either going to be a part of the problem. And then reinforce your own attachments that are responsible for whatever the dissatisfaction you experience and life as it is. Or else, you're going to take a different kind of action. You're gonna transfer yourself internally, and you're going to take actions which will contribute to a more positive direction of things. Let's look at the next thing i here what happened with.

The second. Ask the buddha for some more advice. The first part of this here, the buddha replied But first, they should be become aroused to practice and become status in the five qualities of conviction for assistance, mindfulness, concentration and discernment. Conviction comes studying. Learning about the Dha for skilled teachers and from associating with good companions, who are also back to san john. If you have conviction. Yeah. Conviction that this da leads to genuine result and you can attain that result.

Then this skills arise to persistence. Then from persistence comes mindfulness. And from constant from Mindfulness, trump's concentration. And from concentration and mindfulness come the discernment but. So these are five quality gonna be the cultivated in developed, and we've talked about this to some extent. Then he goes on to say. Once these five qualities are established, the due advised, to develop six further qualities. In every situation, with which a person is confronted in daily life but most especially in those difficult situations that we encounter from time to time, He should practice recollection of the buddha asking one oneself.

How buddha? Who is cons in knowledge in Conduct, an expert with regard to the world and une excel as a teacher would respond. What does this suggest to you in your difficult interactions with people? Yeah. That's the agent. Yeah. Well, it gives you a guideline like, you know, You say well. How would the Buddha respond in this situation? You might not know you might not be able to answer that question, but it's a really good question asked. And it would probably provide you with some clear guidance, you know, on what to what the say or what we...

At least what to say what not to do. Right? If if not what too do at least but not say and do. The other thing that's interesting about this, i this this is just a para raising of this sutra. But it stresses the fact recollect the buddha un excel as a teacher and how with Buddha. Say this is what the buddha did. He decided to stay in the world for the sake of helping out people. So wait So basically all his interactions are about that. They're all about helping other people so way. So this race is the possibility that when you find yourself in a difficult situation that perhaps you can in one way or another serve as a guy or a teacher or provide instruction by example of their behavior.

So so this is this is one this is one kind of recollection to cultivate and difficult situation. What would the buddha do? How would he behave, but not only that with The buddha as the the great teacher how might the buddha take this as an opportunity to the situation as an opportunity in one form or another to to transmit the dha. Not just preach to somebody, but in one form or another to lead the person skill even if it's only one mind little internet closer to attaining their own wisdom and understanding and appreciation of the right way to live in the right back.

Second election that you can bring to any called situation is. What do you know that the Dha specifically tells you about how you might behave in the situation like. And not that the darn a lot of examples that and so and so sometimes, it says something to you. Like, so and so this is what you're supposed to do because the darn doesn't. But the dha provides the guideline. You know, whatever you're doing. Are you acting out of loving and as compassion? Are you being open hearted at generous. Are you practicing patients generosity?

Are you being as opposed to Are you being selfish? Are you being grasping are out of version or so forth? So you can ask in each situation. What it is that the da offers you as a guideline for how behave. Once should also practice recollection of the sand, those should practice well masterfully. Asking us before how they would behave in the situation what advice they would give to you. Can you see how these would all be really helpful and finding a proper way to respond to difficult situation. And he goes on to say one should also practice recollection of one's own virtue which has been carefully cultivated over time.

Is praise for praise worthy and is to be preserved on Tarnish, This gonna be very helpful if you're in situation. Where you strongly tempted to behave in a way that would not be consistent with keeping pre. That would be not consistent with the values that you've adopted. If you have been... If you have made a commitment and you have been working to keep pre steps, if you have been practicing mindfulness this. You have... You have cultivated something that is worth that is valuable. It's worth preserving.

And you have to ask yourself in the face of that temptation am I willing to sacrifice the work I've already done myself. The good karma I've already created, the way I've our already, condition myself in a positive wholesome manner. And I willing to give that up in this moment. And then one should practice recollection of their own acts of generosity, of the delight they have taken and being free from possessive, and compassionate, magna and responsive to the needs of our. The other thing is that you can recall the joy and satisfaction that has come from behaving.

In and ethically responsible way in past. And you can see that to overcome whatever self tendencies hey Arise moment will have the potential to lead to that same satisfaction and delight in the future. And fabrication. And finally, what should recollect that the qualities of conviction virtue learning generosity and discernment, with which the da are in doubt had its origin in human life, and that those same qualities are present and what cell this wrong. Recollect in this way, a person's mind will not be over overcome by passions aversion or deleted thinking.

E or she will gain a sense of the goal, a sense of the dha and the joy connected with the dha. Then here's an interesting payoff. Was such a person? Meaning such a person who has practice this way in the difficult situations in their life. When such a person meditate, rapture will arise the body will grow calm. Ease will be experienced in the mind will but not concentrated. This is an interesting thing in the of meditation there's a certain state that you've reached. Just when, the full benefits of medicaid joy tranquility and e arise that you can get stuck and this this...

There's these qualities that are called rapture do not arise. The reason for that is because of the ways that we have lived and behaved in the world. They created an agitation in the mine that prevents the mind from entering entering into that state of stillness that allows that rapture to arrive. Agitation, agitation due to worry and remorse and a aversion, When these things are present in your my, then, matter how long you sit. There is a limit to the degree of unification of mind that can be achieved, you know, the unification that I spoke over earlier.

Some part of your mind is aware of the things that you have done that are not consistent. With with your lease which it pre with you're done. When that is a case, they treat agitation in the line, which will stand in the way of your further progress and medication. And quite find this one part of the suits here to be a very interesting and remarkable knowledge matter of that because I actually discovered this line going through these prior to this teaching, but what I have discovered in practice and what I've been teaching people for years, is you'll get to the seventh stage of the practice.

And if you haven't been working on your virtue, If you haven't been practicing mindfulness in your day life? You're going to have all kinds of kind strange bodily sensations, but they'll ever come to this point of the rising of rapture pleasure. Because I saw that happen. I've seen that happen many times. And it's not until a person makes the changes in the rest of their life that their meditation practice can can't progressed to that point. Yeah. So it was really lovely to come process line here that's confirmation, with the buddha confirming my own experience and teaching people meditation that if you practice in this way, if you learned practice mindful employee and to keep your virtue when such a person meditate structure will arise spa eagle grow call.

Ease will be experiencing in line can. And so the buddha set of these practices, you should develop these collections. While you were walking while you're standing whether you're sitting brought alive down, while you're busy at work, while you're resting in your house crowded of the children. In other words, and every circumstance. Yes. I have a question. When this those paragraph we read and and discuss so far. I certainly see that what will be behavior point, You know, we behavior this way with still try become a part of us.

And we practice a generosity the the when we called that. So but Just also mentioned one far button. Good virtue which what you did. Okay. I think had they have. I just feel that they have some other the other auschwitz is a form within the inside is literally come out. That back when that roll out. We don't feel that we are. Okay. But of h is that had of children is but does not do the good. It's not that type sense of that. It it's just a such of feeling just grow waving inside all and I feel that is a different for.

Behavior. I quite use that. And I think that is much powerful if I can cultivate something. It is naturally full. Yes. You know, I i i... Just like I'm not doing the virtual. I'm not doing the generosity, but I just so clear about. You know, I see this because habit. That that kind of happiness like a quiet happiness, but I don't think I'm doing the as a good virtue with that. But how we cultivate those kind of natural, those kind of control that kind of thing, he said up beside, I should said, that that.

Decide, the behavior which spitting. Is any other way we can cultivate bed we inside. How can we cultivate a natural inclination to behave in these ways rather than... Yes. Thinking oh I'm going to be generous. Because I feel when this moment, that time happened. Yeah. I'm not trying to believe myself. But that is much more and much different the people themselves. Mh. And I will love this from you is is any way we can call to those things with and we don't feel like we do that thing. I only think this.

Well we so far i'm trying to find like I think it's observing I. Services from the crisis deepen and awareness quiz Yeah. That my things is more open. But I I don't know besides that is any other things to that's what I'm not asking. Well I I I think just make sure that I understand. Okay. Yeah. Now what you can do, what a person could do? You say. Okay. I should I should be generous. And like said, if I am generous, I will get these benefits. And send it so they can go out and they can train themselves to be generous because I see.

I'm I'm supposed to be generous so I'm gonna do this. They do something. And if they do that, then it's coming from this idea that this is what I'm supposed to do or I'm gonna get benefits from doing this. Right? Mh But she's not a very high place. Is it. I think I I hollywood Oh, that's a judgment. That's that that's good. That's pretty good. It's pretty good to do that. Yeah. But I I I still feel if the art had have a other way. Also. And I way for me at the but I would like to call him all about this this box.

Well somebody who... Well, this this just keep working in... Somebody who's just doing this because they think it's a good idea and i feel like is supposed to, and I believe that they're gonna benefit. Are they really being generous? Well if you ask my opinion, I don't this that super superficial. Yes. So. Now. Because I'm still claiming. And I think i is a benefit, so I do that And the part person they had a dollar too is gonna benefit by a dollar. Doesn't take that away. Right? So but there...

Yes. They're not really being jazz. They're actually being stuff. They're saying. Oh, this self. This sell should do this. It would be beneficial for this self to be behave and that way. This is the kind of self i wanna be. Not be the kind of self that gets to where the label it says generous. Right? So it's really very soft. And I might do some good and the individual instances, the the actions of generosity they perform. But we ask ourselves, okay, how much good would that do then are they really being generous?

They're not really are there. That that isn't really what generosity means. Doing doing something, labeled generous because it's trying to make ourselves feel better about ourselves because not really being generous. If should you be with both that general generosity it was your motives on? Humor? I doubt because as a matter in of fact, practicing that generosity in any form is is going to be a step in the right direction. But it's definitely... At that point, you are not getting generous. At that point, you're using you know, it's more like your engaged a transaction, the the merit.

I'll give this. So I gain this merit back to kind of merit. So label even if nobody else knows, I get it say, oh, I'm I'm a good person because I'm generous. So you're getting a reward? That's a transaction? However, what whatever you gave away, whether it was your time on material of goods or money or whatever, there's really a transaction that was a swap. I will swap this stuff in exchange for this other stuff that I want namely being able to feel good about being generous. So there's no general stand that.

That's just shopping. That's just horse straight. How do you deal like like you said when you help me a friend, and you tried to tell a out of your heart because you see wearing need and everything. And then your friends are checking stealing from you even after you get from something, then my friend up probably, How do you deal over with that amber? This happened to me last week and then when you're bringing this whole up. And then i you with got... Maybe like go breathe? Tells me to walk away and just...

I was... He would he became selfish because I don't need. And and then I'm thinking My said is very angry you know, one of those the points and report what they stole from me. It's like, I really wanna i do that, but it's like, they have upsets because it two went took go me and they me, you know, think i... Like this is a probably. How you would android? I I really just sick I what happened. Because I think those got rejections. I just... It shocked me that they took a advantage me up after I I share my food with them and you know, help them financially and they up the skin from you you?

How do you do it with a kind of anger? How how did your anger affect to you? I I went from me when I was very here. Right now... When I have conversations with someone, I really just said right I'm sick all night. And how did your anger affect down? My friend will name even look at my face. He just kept walking away away from me and I had... And it it it you know take me fact they brought me? I gave me the fact that they lied to me and they said I was over them, and I brought into my house, and and it heard me the fact they lied to me let disappoint you me beings after I was over then and I was calling them.

You know? I I don't know how to go to Amber. I mean, just... It's just... I guess can try. Trying to get away from it, but did my ego by my the fact that I'm on myself. It makes it's one of five these two guys with the police. And and it's said something that. Don't wanna get into, but I don't know how to deal this like, I just let it go, you know, the... Can you just let it down? I can let go passwords. No that because I use. Doesn't sound like you can just let it go. I can let go if I can read more.

You know? Maybe it's person pushing away. It's his pronounced stuff so money for me is just like... I don't have no. You you've already like go. Money. I mean, man yeah. Can you go Mh. This appointment of another person who have me, You know, when I was very open to them. Yeah. That's part I i'll tried my license. Oh what do you think? She's suffering? Yeah. Actually. K. Was do right there. So what do you need? You got Du code and you don't want it. What is causing the do? Hanging on to what happened?

You hanging on to the story? The the story. Yeah Exactly. Yeah. And you know the fast. You we wanna... Do you wanted the start you'd be different. Right? So... Well, any suggestions? I I was invited to the weeks that's it Is somebody supposedly to your friends they should not. They're. If that's the case we they do something that that it's you they need to be stopped Oh, that's that's that's a... But you don't you don't have to hold any new... I don't. Because better experience maybe they won't do this again.

They the deposit. But doesn't mean that if anybody because What you say is true? But does Will that we're reporting a police will that to help for anger? Will that help her Do? No that's. Again to somebody else that making cheaper the concern but... Yeah. Well, I I agree with you that one in any situation like this, one has to consider all of the effects. And if somebody, you know, sometimes someone does something like that it needs to be reported for a sake of protecting other the people in the future.

But she was specifically asking about what it she do about her anger. And you're right. She has to deal with it herself. But used... About her anger thoughts are a lot of suffering. She said she went home. She felt say So yeah. Have makes a lot worse if you if you start that like reporting your your friends to that. Delete and then having him fully signal you and then they don't go to court anyway or they do go to court and you have to go on test it. By probably better to say you on my friends, But Goodbye.

So the second all. Point. Lady said, I'm trying to void it... This stole the car. They will go two cars. Tell they... They were the weight taking another party. Definitely like said early. They took a car and drive their name and everything. So I do cook love the the police. Is something I don't wanna deal with. Maybe it's such a v... Yeah. He's internal stuff. So it's it's like... But I'm sure they have that into other you know, I was... They had a plan behind my back, and I was just... I... Well, they because they really kill me you know, as a person.

Yeah. What I was being kind to them, I was being very generous for them, and they only took advantage of it that does sets me that how can I into another person, you know, when that open, there's a disappointment that about sesame me. Okay. Perfect. What I'm hearing though is the problem is that you're upset and it's making you unhappy made you sick. How did you feel that? That's where I see it it's being problem. Yeah i checked the phone there. Else... You didn't mask. You didn't ask what should I do about these guys started according to the police?

You said what kind of do about anger in other field. Yeah. So. Anybody having suggestions she? The story has two Elements lms need to the D with. One is as such a chasing sets, you know, you know, the behavior, there's a judge, it's not this wrong. That's okay, and then this is such this is kind of a just a premium. Then the second element is the emotional part, which you're asking. And to deal with that pause, I think the best ways is to look in the from our own side, we need to recognize the feeling arise in in beginning if we can do that.

If you came out, then probably, we need to solve a problem in the beginning. For example, when this kind of behavior, you we noticed that we deal in the early stage don't that this kind of behavior become bigger. For example notice the person has happy offer for students something, most things there would be might would be trying to be bought a lot of latin than. We don't angle. And Also, I think things has happened, there's still something we can do about it. Once it's I think it's to balance it.

For example, this paper is gone, but can I find some good qualities of this person? So I can balance this person because human beings a complicated. So you miss to particular a story. He's a bad person, but maybe he not totally so bad. And the other thing is to look at his newspaper to see what kind of you know, live background to make him to do such a paste. Maybe he has like bad for childhood saying Left So balancing and check the background, but we can do check our motion inside in the beginning well notice the the start of game and maybe everything to have both.

Okay. I I think what I hear you saying is that as far as the emotional part of it. Is you could find a way to feel compassion and understanding for the person rather than anger, because compassion emotionally feels better. When we go home with compassion or hurt, we gonna feel sick when we go home with angry i hurry week they're sick. Right. So that sounds that's that's a good idea. I like that. And does replacing anger with compassion and understanding? Keep us from under from evaluating a situation and deciding that the right thing to do with the fill out police report.

Is it prevent from doing that? No. No. And this magic has Gerald mentioned, if you report somebody to the police, then that might produce anger and return. And whether you see those people again, that you'll know people that I would just The thing is that they're two separate you have to deal with your emotions, and then you have to deal with what is the right thing to do? What is the right action? Okay? If you take a particular action, that may lead to another side of ants, which in turn produces another set of emotions and then you'll have to deal with them again.

But it's really a separate thing. But I think the same sleeves and that work. And exactly, what the buddha suggested that you do is when you feel anger, you try to replace it with compassion patients, I understand. Right. And if you can succeed into doing that, and you will have solved your problem. Whatever they stole from you still on. Whatever trust you put in them has still been betrayed. None of that has changed, but the pain in your heart, was not. And that was brought you originally asked for.

Right? How to get rid of the pain in your heart. If you replace anger with with positive fields. Then you solve their pup and it won't keep you from saying that deciding what is the right course of action and pursuing right? Action. They'll also give you the tools to work with if you choose a course of action that leads to anger being directed to you, then it will give you the same kind of tools to gil i but, you know, So you can give all the consequences more easily it? Yeah. Can me just chat something can?

Yes. Why that? Be helpful to keep remind the every time we use that's you be living you're removing the something and that... It's my help, this just problem. Replace it also have my own experience people know that they upset they tell he boss they tell somebody that happen been they're living something model over and so you could just suffer. That's very. Good. Thank you. That's. Yeah. I few medical exercises not gonna be very helpful for the situation. Oh can think about the the impossible circumstances expression as him.

And the different possible outcome that this person would have. Like, person who is in the situation has the high probability of either being extremely, like, the also have habits or extraordinarily nearly ignorant way. And in either case is at something you then see that time the long level they will have ready. Make or consequences. If they violating it's first of people, watch generous risk to them, chances are they won't earn a lot of difference that it cal lung, and they'll suffer a great deal of of that things from their context.

You know, some... Eventually something will catch up to them. And and there's you know very the various ways you can trying to analyze and see what kind of it. You know, know background this person can have, you know, who at outcome that they have can. It's it it's easier to piece together a bigger picture. It's not and and the thing of deep picture will often more insight into, you know, so but it's bit but this the big feature. Thank you. Say about this? Yes. Yes. I want to ask question in that...

About this. Yes. Arthritis. Okay. From somebody the this this case. Okay. I... Of my question sir psychology we can go through counseling off speak, you know, and soon the counseling and get that we kind of ease this motion. Okay. We come down. Okay. Or we buy up more. What's the backlog, you know, in the past so the pads on the things. That's a psychology comfortably. And we also medic some positive thinking, okay. We think about the other person's badly for maybe the what kind of reason I can make up, you know, for for diapers and why they behaving this way better than that.

But my question is, if there helper different from from the psychology and those positive thinking way is more speed fundamental spiritual way. Yeah. Because this one, even though I I I I solve this problem promotion. The similar things happened with they life would triggered me. Okay. Again, again, Can't, this is still not eventually. I i'm facing that. I just see this cheaper, you know, because that still will come out. Disappointment that you see again, you know, I I forget with this and that...

So I'm asking you spiritual point of crisis point. In any way, we can move fundamentally deepen at that practice some weight, you know, definitely, hopefully for now on, again, again, we can last less those kind of a trigger this kind of act the reaction and other the things and will be more seated. So that was one I asked that's your good question. Question. So... But that's just recap where we got to. We have seen that if could replace the negative painful emotions that she has experienced with more wholesome positive emotions.

She could resolve the problem of her own suffering. Right? Mh And well you're seeing that the the routes are doing that would be through through compassion patients and understand it. Right? So he's seen that. So now your question is, okay. Well, that's fine. But if she gonna have to do this over and over again every time something happens that makes her angry is disk... And if it's difficult, if it's difficult to her to find a grounds for compassion by looking at the person's life. Does that mean that jessica see a psychological counselor to out for work with it or something like that.

Employees is no. Absolutely not because let's go back somebody did something too her. It doesn't matter what they get there. Somebody did something to her that caused her Brief. Okay? Now, no matter who did it. No matter where they're from. No matter the r poor, doesn't matter. We don't need to know anything about it. There is grounds for compassion. We don't need to know their background to be compassionate. What's the ground for compassion. Well, let's... You know, she is suffering because in motion anger, right?

And if she looks into that, she'll see that the suffering of the anger come from her ego. They touched on her ego. Now the... What is the only reason that somebody would do something that causes that literally do something that causes suffering for someone else. He did something to her the cost her to suffer. We don't even need to know what it is to ask the question. What would make somebody deliberately do something that causes somebody else suffering? Right. They thought it would... They thought it would relieve their own suffering.

They thought it would they damn happy. Right? Right? So what we can see in this situation in both her suffering and the motivations of the person that performed the action that caused they're suffering. The same dynamic. She has an advantage though. She has learned something about the doctor. She knows where suffering comes from that the causes is. And if she can't become compassionate, she doesn't need to know how this person grew up further task events in their life or anything else. All she needs to know, is this a person that believes that they can solve their own problems through hurting other people.

They think the solution to their suffering for their problems is something external to themselves. And they they believe that so firmly if they're willing to do something it causes harm to somebody else in order to achieve that. Yeah. You can feel compassion for that person for their ignorance and for their suffering. And or the fact that what they've done only compounds the situation that they're already yeah. I mean, we'd know that when somebody steals that they are now at risk of all kinds of unpleasant consequences from from the law and everything else.

But even if that doesn't happen, they have internally in their own mind. Spiritually, they have only made their own situation worse. They've made some more bad karma is gonna just lead to more suffering, making them more likely to do something like this in the future. Even if the police don't arrest them for doing this. The fact that they did is going to make it easier for them to do something else in the future. And maybe next time, the police or maybe won't be the police. Maybe they'll try to steal from somebody who has it done or a baseball that or something like that.

So the grounds for compassion are there the grounds for understanding they're there in every action. And this is what we're looking for. We're looking to get in touch with our Own understanding. All alright. My suffering comes from my attachment. My my ego attachment and my non acceptance and things like that. And the actions to trigger it come from somebody else's suffering. So what I can do is let go of my anger and instead feel compassion. And this heals me right away, and it creates good karma for car edge conditioning.

Now I may have to do... If somebody does just tell me again, I may have to go through the same process, but it should be easier because I've already done at once. And it may happen yet again. And that time it will be easier still. And at certain point it's going to be automatic that that I don't suffer the kind of pain that I get before. Instead, I experienced the compassion. And I still do whatever I need to do. Call police police or whatever whatever it is. I see. Now I think that is a spiritual answer.

But I'll point out something else there's one more thing that she can do. She can only create the good karma that will spare her suffering in the future if somebody does the same thing. And you got that part right? She can create the good karma. They will make her free in the future. Even if somebody steals from she won't have to suffer in the same way. She can do more than that though. She can follow this advice skin with move. Excerpt of a sutra top of page. Yeah. Once... And that assess s suggested to the buddha.

He said he said, half of the holy life, is good companions. Right boss? Let's through just said. Say head and. Don't say that. Good companions is whole of the whole life. Because the other thing that you can do is you could say look at the disturbance this is created in my life. Good. They gave me an. Lose on second. But do I need this? Did I need to associate with these kinds of people? If I associate with people with good with people of higher standards, ethics, and morality. And better yet. If I spend my time and the company we are also studying the da.

I'm probably not my encounter near as many of these kinds of situations. Okay. So That's another thing which you can do. Yep. In the past number I'll sales the settlement and then i examine they're they're they're problem. I feel like it's just their image of myself. I yeah I have the fundamental same issues except that. On. It's on the same scale. It's just that that you may be a little bit you know, find but the root cost of it is the same. So the when I realized that it's it's it's very easy to see that person not different than myself.

And there's different circumstance, you know, without good principals and without good. It's easy for me to see that like could be a similarly foolish and then I'll suffer the... For anybody negative consequences of those behavior, and it's really really sad to see that. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the chance story the the the mark. Mark there's only field possessions. Right? Like, while two drops, and a deep store his lot Mh. And he to his to his small little cottage and found out. And he said, oh, I wish I can keep the keep and the the whole moon.

My question is is is it if online in that kind of stage speaks for example imagine. Is it possible that we even don't have kind always kind of track struggling even a little bit, you know, it's just in such stage of current consciousness. You just just don't feel you separate phone feel yourself. So. Well that... To be permanently and say i'll not feeling separate is that is a state of awakening. That's. That's the state of enlightenment. And then yes, you could respond somebody steals your wrote, you wish she could give him everything else.

You know And that is a wonderful state of mine. And is possible that that is the label that's what we're moving towards. And it is a reality too. Because seeing ourselves as separate and being attached to getting into, you know, well, you did this to me, but I'm gonna do that to you and him. They that's been tried. They been tried as far as I can tell by human beings for how long of him things by around. So two hundred thousand years, I. Anyway. It's been thoroughly tested. If does not help. It doesn't really work.

It's not a good solution. So Yeah. So... But but this other actually you does. Yeah So this was this was a good one here. This will a good example. You need more of these more real life examples. What are the tasks You know, like you're saying you you can create a good camera for yourself, You know after... And and to me, it was just that appointment of getting behavior. It was not that the the physical item that was taken for me. At was later, my friend that didn't even know this problem, one my friends, I was trying to wait a computer.

I'm trying to play for a class. Mh. And my friend gave a computer. So I was rewarded by somebody a week later. So... You know, like there's kind people there people make up for other people. So feeling right. For you think that person gave you the computer because they wanted to label themselves as generous. No. Oh. So it came out of a spontaneous desire. You see a very interesting i think did you see yourself and something else. Then i'm doing something, something becomes very different. Well, you know how it is after somebody that you love.

Your partner, your children, their parents whether be something that you what. In that place from love, generosity doesn't carry. You you you're not worried about whether making yourself feel good by upon yourself generous. Let alone worried about whether somebody else sees you and says, oh, your jazz and you don't do it because you're concerned that all I'm gonna make some merit by being generous, how good karma up. It just it comes straight out of your heart as the natural thing to do. Because when you love somebody, they are an extension of yourself.

And so to have the kind of generosity that you were asking about is to begin to remove that boundary that separates you from others so that you see yourself in others. And then acts of generosity become as natural and expression of your being as giving something to your child would the... If your child needs something and you can give your a child, something. It's it's a natural expression doesn't... And that's what we're towards. But we have to get there from where we are. And so sometimes we started out for place of not haven't.

My generosity me in our heart and singing ourselves is very separate from everyone else. And if that's where you are, that's where you are. It's not about saying. Yes. It's good at bad. It's just it's the fact. That's where you are. So you start out from where you are. You practice generosity from that fight. Now if you're generous enough that you can feel good about being generous. You haven't been generous enough yet. You're not really learning forcing seeing yourself to learn generosity until you've given enough that you feel that, you know, if you're a millionaire and you give somebody a dollar or you give them very much?

Stop well. Right. But if if you're living on a social security pension of a thousand dollars a month, and you give somebody ten dollars and again very much or a hundred dollars Yes. So you can get, you know, go do it. It doesn't become generous until it impacts your own selfish grass. If you give away what you don't need, and you give away the... The... If you get away the overflow and the surface, you're you're being generous, but you still haven't touched into that answer that place. Generosity makes you aware of your selfish.

It makes sure aware of your greed and your grasp. And it's done a very good thing for you what it does that. Because then you can look at that read grasp. But when you can get beyond that selfish nest. And so you see yourself in somebody else. Now it doesn't mean that you're gonna go get away everything you'd have and be left to. Because if you see yourself and the other person in the same way, then you share what you have to advantage to the other person. But you don't give things away, to the their harm and disadvantaged.

Of this way. So you haven't looked up less than the other person. You've made the other person more. Can you share what you account? And at that point, was not the feeling of at that point, you're doing it like a parent getting something to your child. You're glad to do. You, you know, it doesn't hurt just not with stealing of Oh, I'm getting up something that I really would rather to keep her myself. Now you're really being jazz. So you go through the stage of you you practice the generosity as a point.

To help you get to the place where you'd practice generosity as a way of learning of discovery getting in touch with your own greed and grasp. And that gets you the place of being beyond your and g. Yeah. I just out of all that practical problem. Yeah. Because I I I I told you you've asked that that and presence very very generous. He makes a very good but that is perpetually four. He's always having financial Yeah. Gives away everything. Alright. So so there is been So that's speculative this...

Yes. They you need to respect yourself or your own age. And date. Senior your services after building the building money of food. And then they threatens from beach they don't found it from being called. They not. They would I use their heater because they wanna save money. Yeah. But it's shareholder money with all the neighbors well. Ended up dying some many. Yeah. That make any sense it all. Place the middle way. But it's not the extreme. Right? Put in the the middle that's right. Because she paid a minute.

Yeah. So but that's... I'll let me know if we're in the middle... If we if if has if we're enough that we are being we're aware of our agreed and that's be. It's fairly sufficient. That's under helpful. Yeah longer. Right. That's you. And and there are some there are people who give too much of themselves, and it's very unhealthy. They have psychologically, they have feelings of an, they're trying to compensate some form a self denial self hatred things like that. And so they will over give of themselves in ways that aren't healthy.

And not just necessarily getting money way to get all kinds of things away. That other people to mystery and abuse and take advantage of. That's not what this is about. That's totally unhealthy. I mean, that is a psychological problem. Yeah. Yeah. That's a different kind of thing. And the degree to which the practice generosity, the goal is to open your heart up. And... I'm not saying that you have to experience and internal conflict because you're giving in order to say that you're getting a not.

But because the point, Enough is only what it takes for you to open your heart up. And so the beginning becomes becomes free. That's free together. Right? So. You you continue to respect yourself and your your own needs. The purpose of the purpose of generosity, a function of generosity as a practice is to teach us about our own. When we've overcome that, then there's no need to practice generosity anymore. Because we will just general generous. We will be generous and will be appropriately generous.

And won't be complicated by any of our psychological confusion and things like that. No. And you don't even have to give so much that it hurts. All you have to do is give so much that you recognize it. Oh, aren't really attached to this. Dan, you can focus on the attachment. Then you can say, okay. I see I see this part of myself. Because that part of yourself likes the hide. We look... If you look, you know, if you look for the selfish part of yourself, you'll find it. Always hidden. It's hidden under a lot of rationalization and everything else.

So all you're doing is something to blow all the camouflage out of the way so you can see what's you're... Okay. I see yeah. Now now I know where really kind. Yeah. Oh, I just been checking with that. Yeah. Got good. Absolutely. State customer through That's right. We have to get out of here before they lock it like. We do have a a few more minutes, though and we won't get into anything really long winded. That limits me greatly okay Anything else that I I I love these real life. You know, I like these situations that They they hit right down to...

How do we really practice the a lot? How how did you know with? How do you know what this generosity and what is not. I you deal with Anger? And what they do... I mean, sort of a peripheral thing there was if you find yourself, and I hope this isn't thing more I should. But I know that he found yourself in difficult situation with the people we associated with quite a few times. You know? And when you find that happening, it's time to change the people in the associated with. There it is. It's time to become involved with a a a a song of people who have the same values and the same beliefs beliefs have the same goals.

If you spend your time as much as possible with people who are also practicing back to wavelength practicing. They're going to support you and the problems that still come up... But see it's also gonna reduce a lot because I to talk. Thinking me this long that after you say that because I don't feel to be sent for my or raising or i'm very open to all kinds of people I'm I'm very considerate open people especially. I I have a lot of more very friends. So I don't send to goes to me because of that.

But you right you have to get to a certain point. We have to protect yourself more. From bt taken advantage shopping. That's what she was saying and how do you give talk if take of you because you like to help you blow out. Mean different. And the thing that you do... You don't think of it is you don't even need to think of it as protecting yourself. Because that's still know it's not quite touching the part the heart of it is that associate with the people that it doesn't matter whether they their rich report because the people that have love in their heart which people that practice virtue with the people that of who could positive values that you want to cultivate in your yourself because you see you'll have this effect on each other.

Everyone around you is affected by you. Have you are affected by everyone that's around you? So if if we come together, and we share the same values. That'll that will strengthen the values of every one of them. So you hang around there with the people that have the same values is you, and you'll strengthen those riders and then and they'll strengthen them then. Do. And that's what he want to do. Yeah. Money, might need nothing because some of the most... The kind generous most loving people have nothing.

And Likewise, some of the people who know no matter how much money they have. At part there's still thieves. Now never stopped being thieves. Was no... They had all the money in the world. They still these thieves in their heart. You know, So you can't go by things like that. But when you spend time with people, you get to know their parts. And when you see that that they resonate with you, then that's where you wanna spend time with. And you see if they don't. It's then they need off. Well, not that's a very good question because it's yes.

We fine... We find ourselves in those such. And and another situation is the people who work with. I mean, you can change your job, although it's often very, very difficult, but you can't freely change your family. So that's where you really need the support of a community of people. That do have your values so that you can still interact with your with your family from the face of of love even though they may have their different values. And perhaps as you become skill, you may be even able to help out.

To to ver. I understand. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Really work to do. Well, any any other comments anything else on me say? Okay. Well, I hope that this has been helpful too you. And be very interesting to see where this goes tomorrow. So Once again, the same thing, but let's get into the real white situations. The nitty gritty the tough problems logs and a catch. We probably covered... I'll just got all the few that need with. So it's signed to get however into to.

The application or serious application up. Okay? So have a wonderful Evening.

You can edit the title and description of this talk to help us organise the content and make it better searchable.

Edit talk